"AITA for gifting my mom and her husband a book on cheating for their anniversary?"

I'm (16 M) and I love my mom (35) but when I was 10 she had an affair and left us, I visited her as often as I could and she always seemed so happy when I was there but I hated her new family so I stopped visiting. Honestly we rarely ever saw each other after just for my birthday and events really. She wants us to be close but I want nothing to do with her new husband so I've kept my distance.

Except in February my dad announced he'd be out on business and my grandparents are stuck visiting relatives in Italy and so I really had nowhere to go and my mom jumped at the chance to have me stay with her. And just my luck that my mom's anniversary with her husband was on Sunday.

I haven't had a good time here at all so all I do is stay in my room doing homework or go out with friends to avoid family activities cause it sucks seeing how lovey dovey she is with her husband and how they seem like the perfect family with their daughters.

The morning before her anniversary day she came to my bed and tried to cuddle with me like before she left us but it made me angry like we can't go back in time and pretend it's how it was. So I just pretended to be asleep and stayed curled up and frozen till she left.

I started crying cause of that and I felt angry and snarky and my mom majored in literature so I got her a copy of Anna Karenina for her anniversary. That book's about a lady who leaves her husband and son for her lover. I've never read it but I watched the movie with my girlfriend and I hated it.

The anniversary party was on Sunday. Everyone was having fun but me and then people gave their gifts. I gave mine and when my mom saw it she seemed shocked but just said thanks. The party ended like an hour after. But at night when she was in her room I heard her crying really loudly. So I kinda eavesdropped a little and heard her saying stuff about that book and me and her husband trying to calm her.

The next day at breakfast she left for work early before I woke up and her husband straight up called me an a$$hole and other stuff for gifting them that. It's been a few days now and my mom has barely talked to me. Honestly I feel so wrong I made my mom cry but at the same time I don't want to be here and she knows that so am I really the a$$hole?

Here are some of the top comments and OP's responses:

Commenter asks OOP if his mother's husband is the person she cheated on his dad with. OP responds: "He is."

Commenter asks OP if he has confronted his mother about the way she left. OP responds: "I've tried before, but she's never wanted to talk about and has always told me to just focus on the now."

Commenter tells OP that 1: his mom's cheating did not have to do with her being a mom and she stayed in the background in case he wanted her back, 2: asks what he wanted when she tried to cuddle with him, 3: he is lashing out when he tried to be a good mom to him. OP responds:

"I did want her to be there. I do want to be around her. I just hated the fact that 90 % of the time her husband would be there or people from her new family. If I want to go get ice cream with my mom I don't want the guy she left us for to come along.

Not come to me like that in the first place it's like she's trying to act as if I'm 10 years old again and she never left. You think I don't know that? But as much as she tries I will never be ok staying in that house with her new family. Or her real family I guess."

Commenter asks OP if he even loves his mom with how he's been acting at her house. OP responds: "Of course I do. End of the day no matter what she's done she's still my mom.

I do like being around her and spending time with her, I love talking to her - I just hate that I have to do that around her new husband or the kids she has with him and the life that she left mine for. I love my mom so much thats why it sucked hearing her cry."

Commenter asks OP how long he will punish his mom but admits the way she left is kind of like punishing him. OP responds: "I don't want to punish her and I want to have a relationship with her I just don't want it to be stipulated (I think that's the right word) that I have to be around her husband and daughters too."

OP then added this edit to his original post:

I gave my mom the book to try and get it across to her that I hate being at her house and being around her family and that it hurts me to be there because I sympathized with the son from the movie not because I want a train to run her over - I do not want that to happen to my mom

I do not want my dad to get back together with my mom, he's happy with his fiancee. My dad has his reasons for not wanting me to go to therapy and is just being protective.

Yes I stopped visiting my mom cause I hate her husband but she had custody of me on weekends or breaks she could've forced me to be with her but since being with him or making him be with us whenever I did go to her was more important she never tried anything beyond the bare minimum of going to big events.

Later, OP shared this update on the situation:

Posting this now cause people keep messaging me about it. The day after I posted I let my gf read it and she was like stay with me dummy. I told my dad, he said I could stay there and sent my gf's mom an email. At my mom's home I told her, she got really sad but said ok she'd drive me and sent an email too. I still wanted to talk alone to my mom like people said to.

As she drove I wanted to talk like the school counselor helped me write a letter to read (like some people said to) but I just froze and she drove to a parking lot and started talking.

She said a lot of stuff about the book, about still seeing me like I'm her baby, her not actually being happy and about us but ended with her saying its ok for me to hate her for what she did cause she hurt me and she'd never push to be my mom again but if I ever wanted she'd be there for me.

But I don't hate her I love her so I started crying really bad I've never had a breakdown but I think that's what it was. I remember her taking me to the backseat and hugging me and me trying to say I love her while crying but its a blur.

She calmed me down and I told her how I feel and I do want her to be my mom just I hate her husband and I don't want a train to hit her I even told her about when she tried to cuddle and how I feel bad now cause that'll never happen again cause I'm never going back to her house. She told me she knew I was awake and was mad at her so I started crying again.

She told me it was ok and she's wrong and we talked a lot but I kept crying so she got me advil cause my head started hurting. She seemed sad I hate her husband but got really mad at him when I told her all the mean things he's said to me and said she'd never let him get between us again. She said she'd take me to therapy with just her no matter what dad says and to spend time with me alone.

She dropped me off and I've felt better since I stayed there until my dad came back. My dad promised never to send me there again and to stay at my gf's if my grandparents stay in Italy. He agreed to let me do family therapy with my mom but he said he'd ensure its appropriate. We haven't started it yet, but my mom has kept her promise to spend time with me so far and it does make me feel happier.