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Woman asks if she's wrong for refusing to split rent with boyfriend; he's not happy.

Woman asks if she's wrong for refusing to split rent with boyfriend; he's not happy.


One good thing about living together is having two incomes to enjoy! Except, how do you decide what is fair as far as spitting expenses? Because sometimes 'down the middle' is just not an option...

When a young woman found herself in a very good problem (rent is insanely low but she doesn't want to pay anyway), she (u/Formal_Date_4926) came to Reddit to ask for advice:

'AITA (Am I the as*hole) for refusing to split rent with my boyfriend?'

I (F23) have been dating my boyfriend “Jake” (M23) since our freshmen year of college. In our last year of undergrad, we decided to rent an apartment together. We split everything 50/50, including utilities, groceries, and rent. We continued living together in the same town as our college after graduation, but recently, we both got jobs in Chicago and we are currently living downtown.

My dad works in real estate, and he has multiple investment properties. My dad generously allowed me to live in one of his properties rent free, but he said that my boyfriend would have to pay him $400 a month for rent. My dad is very protective, but he has been nothing but kind to my boyfriend.

My dads reasoning for making my boyfriend pay rent is that he wants to be sure that my boyfriend is with me for me, and not because he will have a free place to live. (Keep in mind, if my dad was renting this apartment out to tenants, he would charge $2100 a month for rent. Very ritzy building in the middle of downtown Chicago).

My boyfriend is mad at me because he asked me for my half of the $400 for rent, and I explained to him that I will not be paying rent. My dad is only charging him. He says that we have been splitting rent for the past 2 years so why would we stop now?

Our rent in our college town was $1200, so we were both paying $600 a month. Our apartment in Chicago is significantly nicer and he is paying $200 less a month than what he was in college.

Jake and I still split utilities and groceries 50/50, and when we go out on date nights, we switch off who pays for it. If he pays one week, I’ll pay the next. Is the idea that my DAD doesn’t charge me for rent, but charges my boyfriend so crazy? Should I suck it up and pay half because I can afford it?

So, what do you think? Should OP just suck it up and pay her boyfriend $200 a month for peace of mind, or should her bf realize what an absolute treasure he has and stfu?

Reddit was team OP on this one. They pretty much all decided she was NTA (not the as*hole) and had a lot of advice to impart:

zadidoll says:

NTA. Rent isn’t $400, it’s $2,100. Point out that if he wants to split rent then do so by having your dad charge the full amount which means his portion is $1,050. Pay your dad that & dad can give it back to you or put it in escrow to save for a future house. The $400 is a major discount for him & dad lets you have it for free.

Throwawayhater3343 writes:

Seriously, $400 is less than I pay for one half of our ratty 1-bedroom apartment in a bad neighborhood. NTA OP, Your half is covered by your Dad, his half would be 1050 but he''s already been given a discount. You've already covered 4/5ths of the rent. If he argues further over this than boy did your dad prove himself right.

Traditional-Tune-302 agrees:

The bf thinks he is entitled to OP’s perks. He is the bf, not even husband. He is not immediate family and the dad is giving him a very good deal already.

sarita_sy07 points out:

I think he's probably just thinking about it in the wrong way. He's hearing 'rent is $400 and we split everything.' When in reality, it's more -- the rent is actually $400/month each, except OP's dad is covering her half. That may help reframe things. NTA (Not the as*hole) -- potentially NAH (no as*holes here) if this all works out and is just a result of bf just kind of mentally coming at it the wrong way.

zealous-grasschoice disagrees:

This just seems like coddling the bf with his entitlement. He is already getting a major discount, that's his 'perk' of being her bf. If he wants to have a tantrum about it then he can move out and find his own place while she stays there free.

It's also not complicated, there is nothing 'difficult' for the bf to grasp. He is not the son of OP's Dad, he is not entitled to a free place, he is getting a perk, he is not entitled to demand she pay rent as the rent is not for him to decide.

Potential-Educator-6 writes:

NTA. As someone who lived in Chicago for the better part of 10 years I have a hard time understanding why your boyfriend isn’t on his knees level of grateful. 400 anywhere in the city would be a huge deal, but downtown?? Is he nuts??

Look, do I think your dad’s logic is a little screwy and not necessary? Yes. But this is so not a hill to die on, your father is doing you guys one hell of a favor at great expense to himself no less! Your bf needs to look at the big picture instead of being petty over 200 bucks.

Why is it more important to him that you guys split than it is to save money overall? Like, his choice is not between paging 400 or 200, it’s between paying 400 or 1050. Dude. 🙄

GrowCrows comments:

It probably is the HOA for a condo down town in Chicago tbh. And I think the dad is right to do this because it seems the BF is definitely looking for the perks. If they split up over this then the dad was beyond wise IMHO. And good riddance to Jake.

Well, it looks like this amazing problem has an easy solution!

OP, just tell your bf what a deal he has and to stop being an entitled AH. Cheers, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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