'AITA for giving a silly Secret Santa gift that my friend thought was 'cheap'?'
"AITA for giving a silly Secret Santa gift that my friend thought was 'cheap'?"
My friends and I are doing a three-week Secret Santa with different themes each week. The first week’s theme was gag gifts or funny things, and everyone was giving each other like weird keychains, small bottles of alcohol, or joke novelty items. (all within budget).
I got my assigned friend a pair of beef-looking socks and a giant back scratcher fork because she had mentioned she liked an expensive local beef type (but that was way above budget and also hard to bring and stay anonymous since it needs refrigeration).
When she got my gift, she was really disappointed and kept saying she hated her Secret Santa and that they were bad at gift giving. She doesn’t know it’s me since we’re doing it anonymously and we’ll reveal it at the end of the third week.
But She even said everyone else got better things and she got the worst one. She said her Santa also don’t pay enough, even though I actually spent a bit over the budget, and you can tell the gift was within budget.
She called her boyfriend and complained and told me she’ll say more mean things about her Santa to her boyfriend in private. And that she’ll even get rid of it. Everyone else’s reaction to their gift was thankful and playful and they were laughing. Even if the gift wasn’t necessarily funny. But her reaction was just “hm, I'm disappointed ….. do better.”
Our friends were telling her it’s funny and the socks are cute and she can use them with the fork (which is a back scratcher). And my friend told me that she’s unappreciative and weird. Now I’m wondering, AITA for giving that gift and was it bad?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Everyone agreed on "gag gifts and funny things", but she has a problem with it? Not only does she have a problem, but she also feels the need to be public about it? She sounds...petulant and whiny. NTA - and I say that while using a "bear claw" backscratcher I received as a gag gift years ago... ps> Don't try to "make up for" anything with your two remaining gifts; they don't deserve it.
NTA. Sounds like week 2 gift should be coal to go in the socks and match her ungrateful attitude.
That friend is killing the vibe. She wanted something expensive, and taking advantage of the entire friend group. Everyone else is having fun. NTA.
NTA sounds like maybe your friend shouldn’t participate in Secret Santa’s. Also, it’s happening among your group of friends, which means that even if you weren’t her Secret Santa, she would still be talking trash about another friend.
She’s ungrateful and I would actually question if this has been her attitude about other things in the past and maybe reevaluate the friendship. This isn’t someone I would want in my life.
NTA. It was a gag gift, what was she expecting? Especially with a budge of $10 which these days, doesn't get you far. She's acting entitled and spoiled, really not sure what she thought she would get for a gift. At least your other friends are backing you up. If you guys do this next year, leave her out of it. When she asks why, remind her of this.
NTA. I'm kind of apprised nobody was disgusted by her behavior or called her out. What am entitled brat- what is the point of Christmas to these people?
NTA. Her next gift: a little baggie with marshmallows in it and a note stapled to it that says “You were rude so here’s the scoop, for Christmas ungrateful people get snowman poop”.
Wow, she's being a real AH here and probably has ruined your enjoyment for the next 2 weeks. She's an extra special AH in that she's complaining to all of you knowing that one of you has to be her secret Santa.
I wouldn't blame you if you phoned it in for the next two weeks. Still give her stuff but stay in budget and don't think too hard on what to give the ungrateful scrooge she has turned into. NTA.
NTA. This is why I steer clear of White Elephant or Secret Santa gag gifts. Most of the time it's money wasted on the buyer's part and extra clutter in my home, that will be throw or given away the following year. In the future I'd propose serious gift giving with a list & budget for guidance or opt out all together.
NTA. Maybe she was disappointed, but sheesh, way to kill the vibe of Secret Santa gag gift fun! She should have acted more graciously.
NTA. That is totally a silly gag gift. For her to drop hints about something that's both serious and way out of budget, which she knows, is her being greedy. Also, the way she spoke is incredibly mean.
To say out loud to a group of people that she knows includes her Santa that she's not only unhappy but she's going to go say even worse things to her bf about it is intending to punish/embarrass the Santa.
Even if you were under budget, it's rude to say things like that out loud. If I were you her next 2 gifts would be charitable donations in her name (try the Heiffer Project, you can gift her a cow for someone in need).
NTA. Give her the receipt and ghost her for a while. She'll either sort it out and move on, or you at least don't have to listen to her belittling you. It was a joke gift (as per the rules) that was even slightly over budget. She just came in with the wrong expectations.