'AITA for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?'
"AITA for giving all of my coworkers a different reason for why I have missing fingers?"
I have three fingers missing on my dominant hand. It's fine. I can type and everything and even manage to tie my shoelaces most days (and on the days I can't, that's the dyspraxia). However, I won't deny that it looks a bit odd to most people. I only have my fourth and fifth fingers so my hand looks a bit like a child's drawing of a rabbit, and not a good one.
I'm used to people asking about it, usually after staring for a good minute or two, but I still find it annoying. I really don't get why you'd think it would be an OK thing to ask someone about, but hey. I wasn't raised in a barn.
Usually I nip the questioning in the bud by just explaining the truth from the get go and assuming that enough people will gossip about it that the message will spread by the end of the day (it always, always does).
Anyway, I started a new job about a month ago, and I honestly could not face going through that same cycle again. I felt like the time had come to not play into it any more and to make something out of it - and I decided to make myself laugh. When the first new coworker asked about it, I completely lied and told her that I chewed them off as a baby.
I then decided to tell the next person who asked that I cut them off with a plastic knife at a picnic, and the next person that I was born with six fingers and they removed too many, and so on.
All genuinely ridiculous reasons but I'm a good actor and they actually believed my stupid lies. I didn't expect them to (a plastic knife... through bone?!) but there you go. Maybe they just thought there's no way I'd lie about how I lost my fingers.
Within about 3 days, I learned that my coworkers had been arguing about the actual reason and it seems like a lot of them now actively dislike me for lying to them. I'm probably going to have to make some cupcakes over the weekend with my super cool 3D printed adaptive whisk to get back into their good books.
Anyway, I told this story to my brother today and he told me that I was an @$$hole because I caused tension within the office on my first day and made people feel stupid for being gullible and believing my lies.
My argument is that I'm not the @$$hole because they were asking a rude, albeit common, question and because I didn't do it with the intention of deceiving them, I was just honestly fed up of the question and didn't think they'd think I actually severed three fingers with dental floss when I was 3. I'll accept my judgement, though.
What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:
iLuvTopanga17 said:
NAH. This is funny and anyone offended is being way too uptight.
DigitalCode4Life said:
Ugh, your co-workers are just so damn rude. NTA. They aren't supposed to ask you for your fingers at first place let alone "discussing it" and talking behind you. You were embarrassed and pissed off at them asking the same questions and not minding their own business so you joked about it but they were so dumb to recognize it. You aren't the @$$hole. Co-workers are though.
Dead_before_dessert said:
NAH, because that's hilarious and they must be idiots. Your coworkers are rude and it's none of their business. you probably should have waited a little while, before you start blowing smoke up people's asses. It's always good to get a handle on your coworkers, and give them a chance to realize they're being idiots before resorting to snark.
Sidenote: about 10 years ago, give or take, I knew a guy who was born with his fingers fused together. They were amputated when he was just a baby...he was the most amazing guitar hero player I've ever seen in my life. He destroyed everyone....and took great pleasure in making sure we knew he had crushed us with his "nubs". I miss that guy!
OP responded:
That guy sounds cool! I can't even play drums and you'd think I'd be good at that because my hand is almost shaped like a drumstick. Good point about timing, maybe I should have just said I didn't want to say.
Crabtrad said:
NTA, I think it's funny. But both the "funny" factor and the "@$$hole" factor are determined by the stories. I am hoping in some of the tales your fingers were lost to wild animals, terrorists, and/or freak accidents with normal household items
OP responded:
Ha, I definitely lost them to a blender at one point! I'm sure that my sense of humor isn't for everyone, that's true.
[deleted] said:
NTA. That is hilarious! But also, I understand that it probably annoys you that people ask but you can’t exactly blame them for it. If I saw someone who was missing a few fingers I would be instantly curious about what happened.
And OP responded:
Yeah, I get the curiousity. I saw a guy with a prosthetic leg a few days ago and my brain was just like... how?! I just would never ask anyone, though. I feel like your curiosity doesn't trump their right to privacy.