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'AITA for giving my ex fiancée a fake engagement ring.' + Update

'AITA for giving my ex fiancée a fake engagement ring.' + Update


"AITA for giving my ex fiancee a fake engagement ring."


It was an honest to God marriage proposal. I very much wanted to marry her. She is just a klutz and I didn't trust her with the real thing. I took her to Coachella for the second weekend to propose. It was a great time and she got to see No Doubt. She loves them because her dad used to listen with her when she was a baby.

Anyway I asked her to marry me and she said yes. She loved the ring. I had had it sized but it was the brass and moisonite copy I had made so she would not lose or damage the real one at the concert.

Which she promptly did. And then she pretended not to. She said it was too tight and that she had put it away until we got back to Phoenix. When we got back, she asked me where I got the ring. I told her and she tried to replace it, until they told her how much it cost.

She came to my place crying to tell me she lost the ring and to beg my forgiveness. I told her right away that it was no big deal because I had the real one with me and we could go get it sized perfectly so she wouldn't lose it.

My mistake because she effing lost it. She went off on me for making her not enjoy the weekend because she was worried sick that she had lost her ring. If she had told me she lost it, I would have told her the truth. I didn't want to take any chances with her ring at that massive venue.

She screamed at me that I was a complete a$$ho|3 to make her worry like that. She said a lot of stuff that I guess had been building for a while and she said things she could not take back.

I told her to get out. She asked for her real ring.insaid nope. I am not marrying someone who thinks this is the way to behave towards me. I told her she had to leave or I would get the security guys to get her out. She is only signed in as a guest so it is not a big deal for me to get her out.

I feel like I dodged a bullet but also kind of bad that I didn't tell her at the concert that it was fake so she wouldn't worry. My parents are wondering why we broke up and I don't really know what to say.

Here were the top rated comments from readers after the OP's initial post:


lol... I like how after she did all that, she asked you for the real ring 😆



My dude, that's like a nuclear missile dodged. She lost the ring, lied about it, tried to double-down on the lie by trying to replace it, then blamed YOU for her lies before running her stupid mouth. THEN asked for the real ring. She's 10 gallons of crazy in a 1-gallon bucket. The only ring she needs is a Nuvaring.


Yeah, bullet dodged. I know what would be bothering me to the point of deal breaker. She lost a ring that was supposedly valuable and one day, certainly would have been worth every penny you paid for the real one in sentimental value, once she got the whole truth and the other ring. But instead of owning her "klutz"dom and being relieved, she made you the AH. NTA.


Was her plan to buy another exact copy of the engagement ring and never tell you? As in, potentially spend thousands of dollars rather than admit to poor judgement/irresponsibility to her spouse?

The OP responded here:


She went to a local jeweller with a picture and the information ni gave her about the stone. It would have been difficult to get a copy since I got it in Canada.


NTA, you knew she was clumsy and likely lose it by accident, it was a brilliant genius move to give a fake replica... she did go ahead and lose it in one day. I would think this would all be something to laugh about but she went nuts and had the audacity to ask for the real one .. ha!

About a week later, the OP returned with an update.

"UPDATE on my ex fiancee and the fake engagement ring."


It was a test. And apparently I failed. She didn't lose the ring. She took it to get it appraised and found out it was fake. I guess her plan was to get me to apologize, then rush out and replace it.

When I told her I had the real ring safe and ready to go she freaked out. I have spoken with friends and they all agree that the people saying that I should not have picked a place she loves, at an event she loves, and that we could return to every year on the anniversary of the proposal, are idiots.

I showed them the post and they agree that there is a market for a safe room for people who are afraid to propose anywhere meaningful could do so. I'm still happy that I found out how mercurial she could be before we entered into a lifelong commitment. There is nothing else to update. Thanks for the advice and alternative views on my situation.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:


Nah, that seems shady that she's now saying it was a test. I'm not buying it.


What the hell??


I'm beginning to think that these relationship tests are either a very bad gamble or a convenient excuse for bad behavior of the relationship-ending sort. Even if it was truly a test, that shows that she didn't trust you enough to deceive you by putting you through a test requiring untruthful actions so, either way, tests for one's partner might be a terrible and sneaky idea.


I don't think either of these people were ready to make a life time commitment to each other yet. They don't know each other well enough, communicate well enough, trust each other well enough. Everything.

He doesn't want to marry someone who behaves like that towards him, and she's fortunate she's now not going to marry someone who behaves that way towards her. Too much to hope for that they'll both do better next time around? Cripes.


My wife is a klutz and so we have her real engagement ring, a spare of the exact ring, a backup sapphire one, and a backup crystal stone. So she can wear different one when she goes out places so she doesn’t get broken hearted if she loses one.


Proposing at a music festival so they can return every year on the anniversary of the engagement? Bud you really think you’re gonna spend your golden years celebrating your love to loud music in a clutch of fetid tents in a muddy field and you tell yourself the mud is just due to rain because it’s easier than acknowledging how much stray piss and boozey vomit are actually involved in the sludge underfoot?


I aged 50 years when I read that her dad listened to No Doubt with her as a baby 😂😂😂

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit,Reddit
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