'AITA for giving an expensive gift to my boyfriend?' 'That money could've helped my parents.'

"AITA for giving an expensive gift to my boyfriend when that money could have helped with my parent's bills?"

I (22f) started working when I was 16 because my parents told me that they wont be spending any money on me and that i had to pay for myself so I did. I juggled school and my job and when I turned 18 they asked me to find a new place to live (I wasn't even in college yet).

If not for my bf and his family I would have ended up homeless but luckily I didn't. They even loaned me some money for my college related expenses once I got in I started a freelancing business to pay for my own bills and sometimes even helped my bf's family out.

About 7 months ago my parents lost a lot of money when their restaurant went bankrupt I loaned them money twice to help them cope with it even though I didn't want to and they haven't paid a dollar back.

My boyfriend's birthday was coming up so I started saving for that since I wanted to gift him a watch he has been wanting for a while. So when my parents asked for money again, I lied and told them I don't have the money they want and made some excuse about college expenses...they bought it.

A week back my bf's birthday came and I gifted him the watch he was overjoyed so much so he posted it on all his socials and my parents saw it then they asked him how much it costed he told them and the next day they call me first talking sarcastically then going haywire and saying "you prioritized a random boy over your own family" and more.

I gently reminded them how they told me at 16 that I shouldn't expect any money from them and them being adults should also stfu and not expect any money from me.

They continued their rant after awhile I got tired and gave them an ultimatum that either stfu and never contact me again or pay me back the money I have already given them else I will pursue the legal route to recover it, this scared them off enough to not contact me directly.

Now my brother called me asking to discuss "important matters" over dinner I agreed (dumb mistake) when I went there he also started a rant about how unfair and disrespectful I was being to our parents and whatnot. I ignored every word he said and simply left.

Yesterday my parents dm'ed a pic of their outstanding electricity bill and wrote that if they don't pay this, they will lose their electricity, I simply ignored. Btw almost forgot to add this but they paid for my brother's education and college fully since they don't believe girls should go to college. So AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

StAlvis said:

NTA. You parents have not done anything to deserve your financial assistance.

Melodic-Dark6545 said:

Well, they paid for your brother's college, he's the one that has a moral duty to help them. Nope, not you. You already helped them and they threw you out at 18. That's not how real family behaves. Your BF's family sure has helped you and him as well. So he deserves the nice gift and your parents deserve you take the case to small courts claim. Of course NTA.

daGroundhog said:

NTA - Since they treated you like that, put them in the rear view mirror and do the best you can for yourself and your new life.

12_22_23 said:

NTA. You are not responsible for your parents' finances. You've already loaned them money which disappeared into the ether. Don't throw good money after bad. Your parents will lose their electricity if they don't pay the electric bill? Oh no! That's literally how it works for everyone! I guess they'd better pay their bill!

AlbanyBarbiedoll said:

NTA. You owe your parents nothing. They abandoned you the minute they legally could. Your boyfriend and his family have provided for you, if only a place to live. You've had to work hard and give up a lot.

It's too bad your parents couldn't make their business successful. They should go find jobs to support themselves, just like you did. Your brother has been coddled and cared for at your expense. You should have stuck him with the bill and ghosted all of them.

Do not expect to see one penny of the money you loaned them. Consider it the cost of getting rid of people who neither love nor value you. You aren't a bank. You are their daughter. Until they can grasp that, they can wallow in their own poor choices.

MerlinBiggs said:

NTA. So they paid for your brother and did nothing for you. Do they see you as anything other than an ATM. Cut them off. Let their favorite child help them out.