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'AITA for giving a family heirloom to my wife even though my sister didn't want me to?'

'AITA for giving a family heirloom to my wife even though my sister didn't want me to?'

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"AITA for giving a family heirloom to my wife even though my sister didn't want me to?"

ThrowRaGix

My (51m) parents (75m 74f) are workaholics, and addicted to money. They loved their jobs more than their children, that's why they sent me and my sister to live with our grandmother when we were 6 and 8.

My sister (49f) moved out when she turned 18 and I continued living with my grandmother until I graduated from college at 25 because I enjoyed living with her and I also wanted to take care of her when she got sick.

The thing is that a few months ago she died and she left everything to me, my sister my wife (34f) and our children (8f 6f 4f 2f two months old boy) but my sister only wanted one thing and that was a necklace that belonged to my father's family for almost two centuries.

My ancestors always gave those necklaces to their daughters-in-law when they gave birth to their first male child as a form of celebration because the family name would continue for at least one more generation. But my grandmother hated my mother and never gave it to her, she only kept it because she hoped I would give it to my wife, and I did.

I gave the necklace to my wife when our son was born and never told my sister, and when she saw my wife wearing it she lost her mind. She accused me of being greedy and selfish and also accused me of having stolen such a precious family jewel to give it to "a whuuur."

She always hated my wife because she didn't agree with our grandmother adopting the daughter of the nurse who took care of her as another granddaughter. According to her, it was unfair that she loved my wife more than her, but my grandmother loved her because my wife was always there for her.

My sister, on the other hand, rarely visited her after moving and when her children were born she never taught them our grandmother's language so they could communicate. Honestly, that truly hurt our hearts because she loved communicating with my children, who do know her language.

Long story short, I don't think I did anything wrong by giving that jewel to my wife, but suddenly my sister and even my parents believe that I should return that jewel because it is something that my sister wants to keep as a memory of her grandmother but I don't care, AITA?

edit 1: my grandmother adopted my wife as her granddaughter SYMBOLICALLY NOT LITERALLY. And no, I haven't known her since she was little, it's stupid to make up things I never said. When I met her she was an adult and in college.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

celinesophien

NTA. It was your grandmother’s necklace, and she chose who she wanted it to go to. It might be a family heirloom, and I can see why your sister would be upset about that, but ultimately it isn’t her decision.

She also didn’t make an effort to be closer with your grandmother, and though she might be regretting it now, a necklace she somehow feels entitled to isn’t going to make it better.

She also went too far by calling your wife a whuuure. I feel like she needs to sort her emotions out, and none of this is your fault. Your grandmother’s wishes were met, end of story.

brightylin

Complicated but NTA. You kept the family tradition for what seems like century's, if what you say it true, and it sounds like the sister didn't say she wanted it until after grandma passed, at which point you had already had permission to give it to your wife, correct? Also, I am so sorry you parents treated you that way, and very sorry for the loss of your grandmother who obviously loved you and your sister a whole lot.

Radiant_Maize2315

Whatever, if they wanted your sister to have it they would have given it to her. But on the other hand it’s absolute bullshit that she’s “not worthy” because she doesn’t “carry on” the family name or whatever. In the year of Lady Gaga 2024. Insane.

Everyone is an AH here for upholding that crap. Jfc what kind of message does that give your daughters? “Sorry, honey, you’re less valuable since you’ll change your name one day.”

For the record, many married women don’t, and last names don’t always comes from dads. Also, what if any of the kids are gay? Jesus I don’t have the time or energy to explain how monumentally stupid the tradition is. Anyway.

Diputsur_o0o

"left everything to me, my sister my wife (34f) and our children (8f 6f 4f 2f two months old boy) but my sister only wanted one thing and that was a necklace. gave the necklace to my wife when our son was born and never told my sister."

Just reread your post. Grandma dies (a while ago) and leaves everything to you and your sister...Your sister only wants 1 necklace, and tells you to keep everything else...You kept everything, and later give the necklace to your wife (2 months ago) knowing full well your sister wanted it... which is why you didn't tell her.

Btw: who arranged the marriage? That's one hell of an age difference... your wife was 25 when you married? and you were 42?. Is that common over there? YTA. Give your sister her necklace back... Greedy.

FitAlternative9458

YTA your sister wanted only one thing from the entire estate, your grandmothers necklace. You instead gave it to your wife. Either give her the necklace or an entire half of everything else. You dont get to have everything.

Bartok_The_Batty

YTA You deliberately hid the necklace from your sister. You can’t say that you were just following tradition as your grandmother messed that up when she failed to give the necklace to your mother. Did your sister get anything or are you hoarding the whole lot?

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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