'AITA for giving my late spouse's wedding ring to my daughter instead of my son?' 'Whose love was more real?'

"AITA for giving my late spouse's wedding ring to my daughter instead of my son?"

I lost my spouse ten years ago, and their wedding ring has been one of the few things I've held onto as a reminder of our life together. I always assumed Id pass it down one day, but I never really thought about when or to whom until recently.

My daughter, Emily (25F), has been with her fiancé, Mark (27M), for seven years. They've been through college, job changes, and even bought a house together. When they got engaged, Emily asked if she could have the wedding ring. I felt emotional but ultimately happy to give it to her, knowing she would cherish it and keep their memory alive.

My son, Peter (28M), didn't say much at first, but a few days later, he came over furious. He said he had also planned to propose soon and assumed the ring would go to him. The thing is that he's only been dating his girlfriend, Sophie (24F), for four months. I told him I wasn't comfortable giving the ring to someone I barely knew, especially since his past relationships have never lasted more than a year.

He blew up, accusing me of favoring Emily and saying I had no right to decide whose love was more real. He claimed I was punishing him for not settling down sooner and that it was unfair to assume his relationship wouldn't last.

I told him it wasn't about favoritism, it was about knowing the ring was going to someone who had truly built a life with their partner. He called me a hypocrite for acting like a gatekeeper of love and said I had no faith in him. Now he's barely speaking to me and his sister. Did I do anything wrong? AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

keephopealive4you said:

You’re framing it wrong. Giving it to your daughter keeps it in the family. Also, she has a connection to the ring, your son’s gf does not. NTA.

Worldly-Computer-962 said:

For not wanting to give a precious family treasure to a complete stranger? NTA, at all, especially with Peter's track record.

ThatQuiet8782 said:

NTA. Seeing the exchange when he loses the ring, it's no wonder he doesn't last more than a year in his relationships.

BrilliantEmphasis862 said:

NTA - your son is acting very entitled - I would have done the same.

wlfwrtr said:

NTA If he wanted it so badly why didn't he ask you to keep it for him until he was ready for it. Generally jewelry that is passed down goes to the girl so in case of divorce it doesn't leave the family. It seems he didn't want it until his sister got it.

BayAreaPupMom said:

His response is the main reason why it should go to Emily and not Peter. Emily is truly appreciative of the gesture, and Peter is entitled. NTA.

Disastrous-Panda5530 said:

NTA. He’s acting like an entitled brat. 4 months doesn’t compare to 7 YEARS. I wonder if he just suddenly decided he’d propose soon because he found out his sister got the ring.