'AITA for giving my ex-BFF a taste of her own medicine after discovering how she betrayed me?'

"AITA for giving my ex-BFF a taste of her own medicine after she betrayed me?"

I (26F) stirred up some controversy recently with my former best friend, let’s call her Taylor (26F), after pulling a petty move I don’t really regret. Taylor and I were best friends for over a decade. We met in high school and had been inseparable ever since—through college, nursing school, and even landing jobs at the same hospital.

When my parents moved abroad, her family became mine. Her mom even called me her “second daughter.” A year ago, I was stuck in a toxic, abusive relationship and had to leave my apartment overnight.

Taylor took me in without hesitation. I moved into her second bedroom, and we agreed this would be temporary until I could break my lease. I insisted on paying rent and utilities, and we made clear boundaries about shared space and guests, especially since we worked opposite shifts.

But as soon as I moved in, she changed. She became cold, passive-aggressive, and accusatory. One night, just two weeks in, she blew up at me for not paying rent mid-month, even though we’d agreed on a payment schedule since I was paying two separate rents and utility bills until I could break my lease. We talked it through, she apologized, and blamed work stress.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Then came more issues guests over without notice, complaints about trivial things (like folded clothes left in the bathroom), and eventually a major fight where she accused me of “taking advantage” of her kindness. I reminded her I was paying bills and following our agreement.

She claimed she thought I’d just pay and not expect any say in the living arrangement. After that, we didn’t speak for days but eventually things became tolerable, albeit tense.

About a week after this incident is when things really shifted after a mutual friend's birthday outing. I noticed some of our friends were cold toward me. Later, one of them told me Taylor had been spreading lies—saying I was messy, didn’t pay rent, and was playing the victim over my abuse and blowing it out of proportion. I was devastated and confronted her.

She dismissed me, said she was tired of the drama, and I snapped telling her I’d move out, I just needed until the end of the month to find a place, to which she agreed. However, she then ghosted me entirety. Refusing to even acknowledge my existence, let alone speak to me.

Needing an escape, I asked a few friends if I could stay with them for the weekend to which they agreed. Only a day into staying at my friend’s place, I got a message from Taylor’s mom saying Taylor had packed all my things and left them in her garage. When I got there, my stuff was thrown haphazardly into trash bags and boxes; with some of my things broken or missing.

She even made sure to put a whole bottle of opened soy sauce in with my white clothes for extra spite factor. Her mom apologized to me, saying that Taylor had been “acting strange” recently and that she didn’t know what her deal was. She told me she hoped things would get better, but told me not to contact Taylor again until then.

Obviously I didn’t listen and wanted answers, messaging Taylor on IG since she hadn’t blocked me there yet and asking why she had done this and for my missing things back. She didn’t respond, but I did get a message from her mother telling me to “stop harassing her daughter” and that Taylor was “going through things.” Tired and heartbroken I didn’t want to fight any longer.

I just blocked them both along with a lot of our mutual friends. I stayed in a hotel for a while, and eventually found a new place. I’ve spent the last year healing, going to therapy, and starting over—new apartment, new hospital, new friends. I even deactivated my social media for some peace.

That all changed last week. Taylor reached out through a new number, saying she felt awful and wanted to reconnect and apologize. Old me would’ve jumped at the chance. But something felt off. So I decided to reach out to some old mutual friends and found out that Taylor had been secretly dating my abusive ex behind my back while I was living with her.

The same ex I was trying to escape at the time, the one I had been crying about, who mistreated me. I found out that they had been dating for sometime, but had just recently broken up. I was disgusted. And I snapped. I texted Taylor saying I’d love to catch up and made a reservation at one of our favorite busy Friday lunch spots.

She showed up on time. I stayed home in my pajamas. I kept texting her fake excuses—“stuck in traffic,” “parking now,” etc.—before finally blocking her. Then I had my mom (who doesn’t like her either) send one last message: “There’s no need to text my daughter anymore. Please stop harassing her.”

Some friends say it was deserved. But many others that I respect and admire say they think I took it too far and should have been the bigger person. At first I felt very vindicated in my actions and even thought I went easy on her, but now I’m not so sure. So, AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Successful_Voice8542 said:

To friends who say you took it too far, "Taylor lied to me for months, lied to friends about me trying to turn everyone against me, sided with my abuser, treated me and my things like trash, and kicked me out when I had no place to go, not caring whether or not I was homeless. And now she wants to just pretend it all never happened?

Sorry, but life doesn't work that way. I don't need any additional trauma in my life, and Taylor burned all bridges between us. I'm an honest and honorable person, and life is too short to have dishonest and dishonorable people in my life. Feel free to be friends with her, until she turns against you."

GlimmerFoxZestie said:

NTA. She lied about you, trashed your stuff, and secretly dated the person who abused you, that’s not just betrayal, that’s malicious. What you did was petty, sure, but harmless. Compared to the damage she caused, making her sit alone at a restaurant is nothing. You owe her nothing. She made her choices, and now she’s just dealing with the consequences.

Comfortable-Bug1737 said:

You weren't mean enough

SweetBekki said:

When you said a taste of her own medicine I thought you meant she was gonna turn up to your reservation and find you locking lips with an ex of hers.

OP responded:

Honestly though. I could have made it some much worse than I did. I also didn’t have the time to coordinate all of that. 😂

1SilverFox7 said:

Let it burn and live your best life-NTA✌🏾

HistoricalSuspect580 said:

UUGHH!!! NTA. I agree with other posters here that you weren’t mean enough. Nurses can be some of the coldest mf’s on the planet - i AM one, and it sends chills down my spine that we as a group can be so toxic!

OP responded:

I thought I got really lucky with my friend group because I 1000% have been bullied at work before. But between Taylor, the bulk of my former friends and now this with some of my current friends, I’m finding really hard to want to be friends with other nurses atm. Which is really sad