
I (26F) bought my own 3-bedroom house two years ago. I work in tech and have been incredibly lucky with my investments.
My parents (60s) lost their home last year due to some bad financial decisions and medical debt. Because I love them, I invited them to live with me rent-free. The only conditions were: they pay for their own groceries, they help keep the common areas clean, and no one else moves in.
This specific rule exists because of my older brother, "Greg" (32M). Greg has been in and out of trouble for a decade. He has stolen from me, borrowed money he never paid back, and generally refuses to hold down a job. He is the "Golden Child" who can do no wrong, while I was the independent one who "didn't need help."
Last week, I went on a business trip for five days. I came home on Friday night, exhausted, only to find a U-Haul in my driveway. I walked inside and found Greg sitting on my couch eating my food. I went upstairs and found that my home office (which I need for work) had been completely dismantled. My desk was in the garage.
My monitors were unplugged on the floor. In its place was a blow-up mattress and bags of Greg’s clothes.
I lost it. I asked my parents what the hell was going on. My mom started crying, saying Greg was evicted from his apartment and "had nowhere else to go."
She said they didn't call me because they knew I’d say no, but they figured once he was settled, I wouldn't have the heart to kick out my own brother. My dad chimed in saying, "Family helps family, and you have plenty of space. You don't need an office, you can work from the kitchen table."
I told Greg to get his stuff and get out immediately. My dad stood up and told me I was being a "heartless brat" and that as long as they lived there, it was their home too, and they could have guests.
So, I made a choice.
I told them, "You're right. I can't control who you have over if it's your home. But it’s not your home. It’s mine. And I’m done."
I went to a hotel for the night. The next morning (Saturday), I called a realtor friend of mine. I am putting the house on the market. The market in my area is hot, and I can make a solid profit. I went back to the house yesterday with a printed 30-day notice to vacate for my parents.
I told them I am selling the house. Since they violated the one major boundary I set, the arrangement is over. I told Greg if he wasn't off the property in an hour, I was calling the police for trespassing. He left, screaming obscenities at me. Now my phone is blowing up. My aunts, uncles, and even my grandmother are calling me a monster.
They are saying I’m making my parents homeless in their old age just to spite my brother. My mom is begging, promising Greg will leave, but I told her I can no longer trust them in my house while I'm away at work. I feel justified, but hearing my mom sob that they have nowhere to go is making me feel physically ill. AITA?
technical-neck7407 wrote:
NTA. You probably could have just served them all with an eviction notice and kept the house. Thank the relatives blowing up your phone for offering to take your parents in. The moment your dad called you an ungrateful brat was the moment he needed to start looking at other housing options. Your parents are the ones who are ungrateful.
You housed them out of the kindness of your heart and they went behind your back and broke one of your no-negotiable rules. Your house, your rules. They had no right to allow your brother to move in. They knew what they were doing was wrong and counted on you folding once the deal was done. Your mother told you as much. Family helps family, my ass. More like family freeloads off of family.
The relationship is already ruined, so block everyone. They ruined the relationship, not you, so don’t feel guilty. Protect your peace. Your home is your sanctuary and they violated it. They will try every manipulation tactic in the book and send their flying monkeys to deliver guilt trips. Again, just thank everyone for offering to house your parents. That should shut them up pretty quick.
tomte_corn4093 wrote:
NTA. If they crossed the line once, they'll cross it again. If the rest of your family is so concerned, they should take in your parents. Mom and Dad FAFO. The absolute gall to tell your kid who is supporting you that they can work at the kitchen table to make the money that puts a roof over their head. That's some huge balls.
bluestarfish52 wrote:
NTA. You set clear boundaries from the start, and your parents knowingly broke them by moving Greg in without asking. Your house, your rules, especially since it’s your workspace and sanctuary. What they did wasn’t just a minor slip up, they violated your trust and disrespected your home.
Feeling guilty is natural, but you have every right to protect your space and your mental health. Family can be demanding, but that doesn’t mean you owe them unlimited access to your life or property. You’re justified in taking action.
Purple_Ad541 wrote:
NTA solely based on "we didn't ask you because we knew you'd say no." Well yeah, because that was one of three rules you set, and then they went behind your back while you were out of town on purpose. With family like this who needs enemies, protect your peace OP.
BigBackeron wrote:
Your grandmother, aunts, and uncles can take your parents and Greg in if this is really a major issue.
NTA. You set clear boundaries to protect yourself. "Family helps family" falls apart when the family lies and steals.