'AITA for giving my pregnant girlfriend an ultimatum?' 'She asked to look through my phone.'

"AITA for giving my pregnant girlfriend an ultimatum?"

My GF (Jen) and I have been together for 4 years. Back in April, two great things happened: we found out Jen is pregnant and I closed on a house for us to move into. Our family and friends know about the pregnancy, including Jen's best childhood friend (Amanda). I will admit, I never liked the dynamic between Ananda and Jen, but it did not really affect our relationship since Amanda lived across the country.

After finding out about the pregnancy, Amanda decided to move back home (we live in Jen and Amanda's hometown). Amanda has been back since late May and all heck has broke loose. Jen has always felt a little self-conscious in our relationship. I work construction and do personal training. She feels intimidated by small girls, but I have no idea why. She is an attractive AF woman with amazing curves.

Amanda has done nothing but played into Jen's insecurities and anxieties since being back. Jen and I have never been the tracking location couple or looking through phone's couple. We always considered that a red flag in a relationship. Amanda has convinced Jen that she needs to start doing that.

So, she has been looking through my phone on a regular and finding nothing. I have communicated my hurt and frustration and that I think she needs to distance herself from Amanda. She kept rebuffing my concerns. About two weeks ago, Jen again asked to look through my phone.

I told her in no uncertain terms that this will be the last time she looks through my phone. If she again sees nothing suspicious, then she needs to agree to go to counseling and distance herself from Amanda. She agreed, looked through my phone, and found nothing suspicious. But, she soon reneged on her promise to do counseling and distancing herself from Amanda.

I decided to move out. We are currently on a month-to-month lease in an apartment until renovations get done on the house I bought. I am staying with a friend until the house is ready and then I will move in alone. Jen has asked me to reconsider, I refuse. She will likely need to move in with her mother, which is not ideal given the limited space, which I feel terrible about for my child. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Glinda-The-Witch said:

Tell her the counseling is still on the table, but don’t live together until you get to a point where she where she trust you and ditches her friend.

shangib723 said:

NTA she didn't follow through.

TALKTOME0701 said:

NTA. Children are raised in close quarters all the time. What you don't want is a child raised in an environment of distrust and suspicion. It sounds like she has more respect for her best friend than she does for you. Why doesn't she move in with her?

Life_Temperature2506 said:

NTA. She needs to throw Amanda in the garbage.

Quiet-Patient5458 said:

NTA. This is ruining your relationship, and if she is unwilling to see the damage, then she needs that ultimatum. Hopefully, she soon sees what Amanda has done to your relationship

bookie412 said:

NTA, but her relationship with Amanda sounds really concerning. Playing with a pregnant woman’s image of herself and her insecurities is insane. I think you both need couples counseling so someone unbiased can play mediator while you guys talk and I think she needs personal counseling so she can hear actual helpful advice from someone other than Amanda.

Lizzydeathstar said:

NTA...wow. Amanda really sucks and played your GF like a fiddle. I would strongly suggest couples counseling. You can fix this. She can fix this, if she'll just see where things started to go wrong - and I believe an unbiased outside person can assist with that.