'AITA for giving the UPS driver water and a snack? His wife is angry about it.'

"AITA for giving the UPS driver water and a snack?"

To set the scene, I (32F) usually give my postal workers snacks or waters around the holidays, but in the summer, I like to grab drinks from the fridge and hand it to them directly bc they'd get hot if I let them sit outside. Last week, my usual UPS driver (60ish M) came to drop off a delivery for my front neighbor. It must've been around 9pm bc it was darkish outside.

He parked in front of my house and when I noticed him, I thought, I'll go hand him a water and snack since it's so hot outside! He was on the phone with his wife and when he saw me he went "oh let me ask my wife if I can take it", "honey, can I take a water from a customer?" He then proceeds takes the (sealed) water bottle and snack, says thank you, and I walk away.

Yesterday, he rang my doorbell. I come out and say hi, he then asks if he can speak to me while mumbling something on his headset. Conversation went like this:

Him: "She's right here honey, I'm gonna put you on speaker"

Me: "hello?"

Wife: "I mean as long as you tell her what you needed to tell her, then that's it"

Him: "she's listening to you, go ahead"

Me: "hello..?"

Wife: "As a married woman, I don't appreciate you giving my husband water or anything.

Me: "Oh, I usually give my UPS, USPS, postal workers snacks or water around the holidays, and especially right now since it's so hot and they're out here so late."

Wife: "well as a married woman, I don't like that. And he didn't even have a package for you, you walked out and looked for him. I thought he was at a business making deliveries. Let me take care of my husband."

*I thought it was a joke I'm NGL. I let her finish her rant.

Me: "well, he was making a delivery to my front neighbors, but you know what, I apologize. I will never give your husband anything else from here on out, have a good day"

He then proceeded to say thanks and walked away. Didn't say anything else. Mind you, this man is our usually UPS driver. When he drives by, he honks and waves, loves grabbing snacks around the holidays, so I was completely caught off guard with the wife going off on me. I was just trying to be nice to. So, AITA for handing over a water and snack to the UPS driver?

The internet continued to share their thoughts.

aimiexsteph wrote:

NTA. You were just being nice and kind and thinking of other peoples feelings, esp considering how hot its been and how hard they work in the heat. Offering food and drinks to the delivery drivers is a really sweet thing to do and shows you're a kind hearted person. NEVER lose that about yourself.

His wife is probably an insecure middle-aged woman who isn't used to people being so generous to someone who just works postal. She probably sees it as flirting, and doesn't know how to react to it and wants it to stop. And honestly? He was most likely forced to do it by his wife. He most likely didn't want it to escalate to that extent, but it did. I'm sure he feels so embarrassed. You did nothing wrong.

OP responded:

I could cry to this comment. Thank you for your kind words. After the interaction, I came inside and I felt a little sad, which is crazy, but yeah. The sad part is that this same UPS man has met my husband and child since we catch him mid driveway sometimes. I was just surprised that she made him come up to my house and talk to me about it.

He's always so nice and I didn't want to go off on his wife basically accusing me of anything inappropriate. Did I want to? Yes, but I decided not to. This man could very well be my dad and I was just annoyed. I'm not gonna lie if I say I for a split second did think IWTAH.

The only thought that came to my head when this man was out here late at night in the heat was, if that was my dad, I would want someone to offer him something cold to drink while he's working. It's sad to think that insecure women take this the wrong way. Some have suggested that I report the incident, but I wouldn't want this man to lose his job over this.

Plus, he knows where I live and if his wife were to ask, I'm sure he'd cough up the address in a heartbeat. I don't want a man's loss of work on my conscience, it looks like he has enough going on at home. That being said, I don't know if I want to keep putting snacks out. I don't want him to grab some and her accuse me of handing them off to him again. 😭 We'll see how things go from here.

Money-Possibility606 wrote:

NTA, and that is abso-f-ing-lutely insane. Of COURSE you didn't do anything wrong. I might report that to UPS, though, because it is absolute bats#$t for him to go to your house when he doesn't even have a delivery for you and put you on the phone with his wife.

He's taking time away from his deliveries, to bother a client with batshit personal business. And honestly...what kind of woman doesn't WANT their husband to be treated kindly?! Please keep giving things to delivery drivers...just not that one.

StAlvis wrote:

NTA. Wife: "As a married woman, I don't appreciate you giving my husband water or anything.

"As a f#$king stranger, I don't quite care what you do or do not appreciate."

lanthin1 wrote:

NTA and that lady is nuts. Talk about insecure in a relationship! Bet she spends a lot of time thinking about all those pornos of the delivery guy getting laid by some random woman on his route. He appreciated it and that’s all that matters on your end. This is really more between him and his wife. Keep being a good person.