'AITA for giving my toddler the iPad in a restaurant?' 'My in-laws judged me.'

"AITA for giving my toddler the iPad in a restaurant while my in-laws judged me?"

We went out for dinner last night with my husband’s parents and his sister. My 3-year-old was getting cranky, and I could already feel a meltdown brewing. I tried crayons, snacks, everything. Nothing worked.

So I pulled out the iPad and let her watch some cartoons with the volume low . She immediately calmed down and started eating. My MIL gave me the look, followed by a passive-aggressive, “Kids these days don’t know how to behave at the table anymore.” SIL nodded and added, “Back in our day, we didn’t need screens to sit still.”

I just smiled and kept feeding my child who was now quiet and content. But later my husband said I could’ve “at least tried harder before giving in to screens.” I feel like I did what I had to do to make the dinner go smoothly for everyone.

Yes, I get that screen time isn’t ideal. But honestly? A peaceful dinner without a tantrum felt like a win. So, AITA for using an iPad to keep my toddler calm at a restaurant?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

bassai2 said:

YTA if your kid wasn't wearing headphones.

PurplePufferPea said:

YTA! I don't care about whether you give your kid an ipad or not, but I find it incredibly rude when parents allow their children to listen to then on "low volume." I'm glad you now got a peaceful dinner, but how many other people's did you ruin in order to get it?!?!

usuallyherdragon said:

ESH (except that poor kid). 1) "At low volume" implies you didn't give your kid headphones, therefore finding another way to make dinner unpleasant for other people in the restaurant. Yay? 2) Your husband should have helped you. Why wasn't he doing anything? For that matter, what about his father? 3) Your MIL and SIL's snide comments were unnecessary.

I don't know how your kid normally behaves in restaurants, so no judgement on taking them there. But a cranky toddler is always going to be difficult in such a place, and if you already tried everything (including going outside with the kid for a few minutes to run around), I can't blame you for going with the screen, even though it does reinforce the impression that impending tantrum = screen time.

Music_withRocks_In said:

I have zero problem with you giving your kid a tablet, but you absoutly need to have headphones with that thing, it is not acceptable to let them listen to it 'at low volume' - that is rude to other diners. You can find cheap, child friendly headphones that don't allow the volume to go too high on Amazon ready for next day delivery. Teach that kid not to play noise in public.

If your husband isn't willing to head off the meltdown himself or take a screaming kid into the parking lot to calm down he can shut his pie hole. I promise you MIL's kids did not sit still at 3. And if she had access to tablet, she would have used it. As soon as TV was invented people were using it to keep their kids still and quiet for five minutes. No way your husband is so old that he didn't watch TV as a kid.

I'm giving you a NTA - but I am solidly on the fence about ESH because of the no headphones thing. But people are so judgmental about other people's kids that I'm giving you some grace here, but buy some damn headphones for your kid.

[deleted] said:

YTA. I agree this was lazy. I count four (edit: 5) adults and only one kid. You should be able to make it through dinner without screens. Get up and take her for a little walk to the bathroom to wash her hands, or go outside for a couple minutes, bring a little book or a fidget toy next time.

Your husband, as well as the other adults at the table to a lesser extent, are also aholes for not jumping in and trying to engage with your daughter. If a bunch of adults are sitting having adult conversations and ignoring her, no wonder she got bored and started acting up.

Ok_Homework_7621 said:

YTA for the volume, even low. Sound off or headphones.

MerelyWhelmed1 said:

If the child acts up, you remove the child from the restaurant. That's called parenting. Instead you taught your child that a tantrum means they get their own way. YTA.