Gluten-free bride asks if it's 'offensive' to order wedding cake for two; AITA?
Planning a wedding menu that can serve every different type of allergy and dietary restriction can be a harrowing endeavor for couples...
So, when a conflicted bride decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's "Am I the As&hole" about whether or not she'd be wrong to have a VIP private wedding cake, people were ready to help deem a verdict.
WIBTA if I ordered my wedding cake to only be big enough for my fiancé and I?
Our wedding is going to be in April and I am currently ordering the last details, including the wedding cake. I talked to a good friend about it and she was offended that I thought about only ordering it big enough for my fiancé and I.
My reasoning: I have multiple allergies/autoimmune diseases including celiacs. Since I want to be able to eat my own wedding cake, it needs to be gluten free, which is in and of itself much more expensive than a normal one.
Also, some of our guest have various allergies ranging from lactose to nuts. So catering to all the allergies in one cake would be nearly impossible and definitely really expensive.
So I thought why not offer different sheet cakes that take into account the different allergies (one without nuts, one without milk etc) and since we're having a buffet anyways, all guests can freely choose what to get.
(The buffet will be monitored by the caterer to ensure no cross-contamination will happen).
My friend says it would be a severe disregard of tradition to not serve everyone a slice of wedding cake.
Since we have invited a number of people who are quite traditional in their thinking I now wonder if she's right and if it would cause a problem.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:
Disastrous-Bee-1557 said:
NTA. Wedding cakes are usually disgusting anyway with all of the fondant on them so nobody’s missing out by not having one. A regular sheet cake with real frosting sounds amazing.
darya42 said:
NTA. Your solution is simple, pragmatic and delicious. Tell your friend to grab a snickers.
ThisIsTheCaptain said:
NTA. It's your wedding, do what you want. Not everyone can afford everything but you're still doing your best. I think you're being very considerate, it's nice.
"Tradition" is a stupid reason that doesn't excuse the fact there are OFTEN more practical alternatives. Don't do something you can't afford or maybe don't even want to do just because it's TrAdiTiOnAl.
Unless you're a virgin wearing white, your fiancé paid a handsome dowry, and your guests are planning on tossing rice at you to grant you fertility, maybe people can keep their traditional wedding ideas to themselves and leave you be.
You have way too much to stress about and don't need to give yourself something else. You do you, boo!
LandaHolla said:
NTA. Quite thoughtful, actually. Since you're looking out for individual needs...why not go with cupcakes? I've seen some gorgeous cupcake displays at various events like weddings, showers, bday parties, work events, etc.
VDinkley said:
NTA. Tradition is overrated. If you get one big wedding cake as per "tradition," several of your guests would not be able to partake due to dietary restrictions.
Your way seems much more considerate under these circumstances. Also, not your friend's wedding, not her decision.