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Man accuses gf of being a 'gold digger' when she won't pay most of their rent.

Man accuses gf of being a 'gold digger' when she won't pay most of their rent.


A frustrated medical professional in residency came to Reddit to ask if he is wrong in a dispute he's having with his girlfriend... who makes twice what he does.

AITA (Am I the as*hole) for expecting my gf to pay her share of the rent?

u/sofny-98 writes:

My gf and I have been dating for a year and we want to move in together. We want a 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment or townhouse near my work. I’m a 2nd year pathology resident and my residency is 5 years long. She works from home and wants an office.

She also makes 120k and I only make 68k. So our rent is $1800/month + utilities and she wants to go half on both rent and utilities so we would both pay roughly 1000 a month.

Because she is using one of the rooms as her office I feel like she should pay more so I should pay $700 and she should pay $1300. She thinks even if she is using an extra room because living near the hospital is very expensive I should pay half because we could get a cheaper place if I don’t live near work.

She thinks because we are paying more to live near my work so I don’t have to pay for gas I should pay half for rent. I find she’s being selfish because she makes much more than mean, and once I complete my residency I can easily make $350k a year or more.

But according to her it’s not fair for her to wait 3 years to “potentially get paid back” because we could breakup and she would have “subsidized” me. To me if she isn’t willing to pay a bit more to put some skin in the game she’s being a gold digger and waiting for me to make bank without giving anything in the first place.

We argued about this a few times and I just want to know if I’m crazy in my thinking or she’s being selfish.

What do you think? Is OP being reasonable is his requests, or should he be more careful about how he speaks about his girlfriend?

Reddit was between ESH (everyone sucks here) and YTA (you're the as*hole), but mostly the latter.

nothankyouturd says:

YTA, You're not married. You should be splitting rent 50/50. Also, in this situation, you're the gold digger.

Careless-Image-885 comments:

Yep. Know too many nurses who married/supported doctors during their residency programs only to get dumped a few years after the doctors got established. Nurses supported them for however long the residency was, helped set them up in office, had kids with them, etc. Then doc finds a younger, newer model to carry on with.

nuclaffeine agrees:

Oh, yeah! reasons to never be a doctors first wife either! Cuz babe, you probably ain’t gonna be the last wife.

Wooster182 says:

Like, I think it’s a fair argument to say, “you disproportionately make more, let’s figure out some math that factors in wages, gas, living area etc.” But to jump to accusing her of being a gold digger swung the pendulum to YTA. He clearly doesn’t have a high opinion of his gf or women in general and maybe should rethink how highly he apparently views himself.

mr_trick adds:

Also moving to a more expensive area so he can commute without driving is definitely a huge factor! If they were just living wherever, it would make sense for her to pay proportionally.

But they moved to this specific area so he could work. A more expensive area he would never be able to afford on his own, so she’s already compromising and subsidizing him just by being willing to move there and pay higher rent. And he wants her to pay even more!

ScarletDarkstar writes:

Also, there is an income disparity here, but Op isn't going to be struggling to pay $1000 rent with an income of 68k. The disparity is more an issue when one person will wind up barely scraping by and the other can afford luxury items, etc.

Stormfeathery lays it all out:

“She only wants to pay a full half of the rent and utilities in a more expensive area than she herself would be living in, and has her own well-paying job that is currently more than I’m making. What a gold digger!”

I mean she’s right, if you want to try to squeeze her for every extra drop you can like this, giving your own arguments but completely ignoring her own completely valid ones, she probably WILL be breaking up with you and would in fact be subsidizing you for nothing. YTA.

Sources: Reddit
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