Grandma dresses up granddaughter; mom is furious; 'DON'T parent my CHILD.' AITA?

When this grandma upsets her daughter, she asks the internet:

"AITA for putting my granddaughter in heels?"

My granddaughter is a runner. She is 4 years old and will just bolt the first moment she has a chance. I babysit at least once every two weeks. It is difficult to keep keep grabbing her and going out is awful with her.

It is very difficult to keep her in one place. Ideally we just stay at my place but sometimes I am asked to a babysitter and I have stuff to do.

I have brought it up before and my daughter agrees she can be a runner but brushes it off and says kids will do that. She called me yesterday and asked me to babysit. I informed her I needed to go shopping and she told me to just take her with.

We were at the mall and she tried to run five times and succeeded two time in 30 minutes. I stopped at a shoe store and bought her heels. When they were on she was waddling around and couldn’t run. The rest of the trip went well and when she did try to make a break for it she got like 5 feet.

I dropped her off and my daughter was pissed I put her in heels. We had a huge argument about it and I am a jerk for doing that. I pointed out that it solved the issue and I wouldn’t of had to do something if she figured out a solution the multiple times I brought it up.

Let's see what readers thought:

ffast writes:

NTA. Since the parents shot down the option of using a leash, I can't blame you for thinking outside the box.

For the hour or however long you were out, I can't see heels doing any lasting damage. I'm also going to assume they were pretty small and not like 8 inches! Small kids fall down constantly. Even if she did fall in heels, how is that any different.

A stroller or something does seem like an easier idea, but if the kid wouldn't stay in or screamed to be let out what can you do.

People are being very weird about your solution. I'd think it was funny. Perhaps you'd babysitting needs to remain inside the home until she's older.

agha7 writes:

YTA. and should not babysit alone if you cannot handle it. (which is ok, that you cannot - grandmas are not supposed to be physically fit to run like 5yo kids!) communicate that with your daughter and make sure it is clear. Also, what shop sells shoes with heels for 5yo

misselsis writes:

YTA. I get that chasing after a super active 4-year-old is exhausting, but putting her in heels isn’t the right way to handle it. Heels aren’t safe or comfortable for little kids, and it’s likely to cause more harm than good. Your daughter has every right to be upset about that.

Maybe next time you could try something like a child safety harness or reins to keep her from running off. It’s important to find solutions that are both practical and safe for her.

propermed writes:

YTA. I sympathize. But heels are dangerous for children. If you can't take her places because she's a runner, you can't take her places. If her mom wants you to babysit at a time you need to run errands, you need to either reschedule your errand or just tell your daughter you're busy that day.

nomath writes:

All my grandchildren are runners. It's called being a kid. Its why young people have kids and not old people. I go to the gym and am fit, so I can keep up with them. When I go shop with any of them, I use a stroller or I carry them, it solves the problem. Even when I was a mom to littles, I used a stroller. Why is this not an option?

Heels make feet look awful when you are older, they are also a tremendous fall hazard when you are small. How was this even an option? Tell your kids that you can't babysit unless you are at home, unless they bring a stroller or allow a harness. I actually bought my own little umbrella stroller and car seat, for the grands. I love babysitting them and running errands with them.

The days I keep one of them, I am exhausted at the end, but it's worth it to build a relationship with the little humans. YTA.

house7 writes:

Some kids really DO NEED a kid harness. It's not demeaning or abusive, but entirely for their safety, and for your sense of security.

It might? Be too late to get her a harness at 4yrs, as she could probably just unclip it and bolt anyway, but they make VERY cute backpack style ones that she might leave on for the cuteness of it.

We almost lost a nephew to the Florida gators when he was a toddler, because he silently hauled a foot stool over to the door, UNBOLTED IT (Which he'd never done before, so no one knew it was a risk), and headed out the door in nothing but a diaper and his Grand Papa's cap.

A stranger saw him leaving from up the street, and when no one followed after him, they brought him back.

This nephew absolutely had a harness when we all went out, or he honestly wouldn't have made it.

I think your shoe thing was genius. If your daughter doesn't like it, then she either needs to stop expecting you to take your grandbaby last minute when you have other plans, or she needs to figure out a solution she likes better. NTA.