Grieving woman insists on bringing 'Reborn Baby Doll' to cousin's wedding. AITA? 'I find it SO creepy.'

"WIBTA if I told my cousin that she can not bring her reborn baby to my wedding?"

So, I (25) am getting married in about a year. The date is set in 2026. This is about my cousin (Shelly), who is 28. Shelly gave birth a little over a year ago, and the baby was a stillbirth. She is still mourning, and soon after, she got a reborn baby (it's a very realistic doll baby), and that thing freaks me out.

She acts like it is a real baby and brings it everywhere. I understand she is mourning, but I am not comfortable with it, and during family events, I ignore that whole situation. It is not uncommon that she has family members hold her baby when she goes to the bathroom.

I always refuse to do so, but other family members will and have gotten scolded for refusing to take care of the doll if she needs to do something. She treats it like it is a baby and I find it creepy.

Today was a family event (Memorial Day), and she brought it to the family picnic. During pictures, Shelly brought the reborn baby in the pictures and refused to put it down (her mom asked) and it started a mini-argument. The reborn baby stayed in the pictures.

Later, I was talking to my sister, whose child is going to be the flower girl for the wedding. I was discussing getting photos before the wedding, and just focusing on group picture for the wedding. Shelly said it would be cute to do photos, and her "baby" could be propped up for the pictures.

After this I realized I do not want that doll at the wedding, I don't want my family members to have to take care of a doll like they already do at family events. I don't want to have to fight her not to include the baby in photos. I also find it so creepy and just don't want it at the wedding in the first place.

I can't really go to my family for opinions on this because I know this will get back to her. My future husband is on my side with this but I want some other opinions. So would I be a massive ahole if I tell her not to bring her reborn baby to the wedding?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

This-Decision-8675 said:

This is the craziest thing I have ever heard...I never heard of a reborn baby. Honestly I would not invite her to your wedding.

MellyMJ72 said:

I'm going to say it. The reborn doll trend helps no one. The mom ends up not processing her grief because she's all involved with some fake baby. Then the mom ends up alienating everyone because the doll is the center of her universe and no one wants to be around it.

Now she's sad and alone and has nothing but the doll and the cycle continues. The more she alienates people with the doll, the more she counts on the doll. From the little I've seen, it feels like it's not just a comfort item to get them through the worst. It becomes a weird obsession for the mom and they get worse.

DocumentTop5136 said:

NTA. Losing a child would be devastating, however, it doesn’t sound like she’s actually processing her grief and moving forward. Instead, she’s pretending a doll is her child.

This is no longer a healthy way to cope, but sounds more like a delusion that the family is helping her keep up. It’s time she sees a therapist and the family needs to support that idea. I would not allow the doll at my wedding.

AtomicVulpes said:

NTA, she needs to deal with her grief appropriately and through therapy. As hard as it is to grieve a child, she cannot make it everyone else's problem and force everyone to constantly address and deal with her issues using this reborn baby as a prop to replace her real child.

DrVL2 said:

It’s been a year. Shouldn’t this be a reborn toddler at this point? While I understand that it is devastating to have a still birth, it sounds like this woman needs some counseling and to find some way to begin to move forward. I’m sad for her. I’m sorry that you are having to deal with this also. You would not be out of line to ask her not to bring the figure. NTA.

JustheBean said:

NTA. This is a completely reasonable boundary. The doll sounds like a significant social disruption that pulls attention, and makes several people uncomfortable. People have child free weddings and 21+ weddings just because it would be more fun, I see no reason why you can’t ban a doll that actively gives you the creeps.

I appreciate that reborns can be used as a tool to cope with this kind of grief, but it sounds more like she’s living in denial than using it for comfort as she moves through the loss.

At the very least she should be seeing a psychologist in conjunction with caring for this thing, because the reborn doll is not a long term solution, and it is disrupting her real relationships. But if she’s not doing that, it’s not the family’s job to pander to the imaginary needs of doll forevermore.

silentjudge_ said:

NTA. Your wedding is about you, if the doll creeps you out, you don’t have to accept it. Also, I’m no therapist but I struggle to see how this will help with any kind of grieving process.