Groom asks if he's wrong to 'ruin' boss' plan to propose at his wedding.
Everyone should know by now that there are some very basic, universal rules for wedding etiquette: don't wear white, don't steal the spotlight from the couple getting married, and don't unearth a flood of family drama after too much champagne...
So, when a conflicted groom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet about his boss' request to use his recpetion as the romantic backdrop for his own proposal, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for refusing my boss to propose his girlfriend at my wedding?
I (24M) am getting married in 2 weeks. I have invited my boss to my wedding. Yesterday he asked me if I can tell my wife (25F) to give her bouquet to his gf, who is one of the bridesmaids rather than throw it in air and he'll propose then.
The thing is I can adjust with this, but a few years ago, my fiance looked at one of these types of videos on fb and said ' This is bad. People shouldn't even ask the bride help doing this and put her in dilemma.' We were friends back then.
So I said no to my boss without asking her. He got really angry and said I didn't even ask my wife to be and I am bending in front of her even before marriage, what will happen when I'll get married, etc. He said he would get the perfect scenery for the proposal and all.
ATIA for ruining this for my boss? We're getting married at a very beautiful place owned by her aunt. So it could make nice memories for him.
Later, he edited the post to include:
Edit 1: Wifey is very kind and goes out of her way to help people. I'm afraid if I tell her she'll say yes for her friend against her own wishes. I wanna give her the wedding she deserves. That's why I didn't go to her with this.
Edit 2 : Wife to be is the major breadwinner. She's very intelligent and highly respected. I am the dumb one. Ik she will ask me to leave the job if my boss pressurizes me, but I don't want to sit on my a$s whole day while she works. I wanna get a new job after we settle down a bit. I wanna give her the world.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
myaata said:
NTA at your wedding everything should be for you and your wife, not for your boss. Hope your wedding went great.
Stuffandmorestuffff said:
NTA- I'd personally uninvite the pr$ck. You said no... why is he still asking.... and being rude too?
sonzpf said:
NTA. Jesus he insults you too boot. If you don’t want that at your wedding you don’t need to ask your wife about it. A no from you is fine. Also your boss is tactless and tasteless.
brokenlandmine said:
NTA - this is your wedding day. Why would he want to propose infront of your family and friends? If he was your family I might understand but still. Or just be like sure I can do this but I want a 500k a year raise.
nexutus said:
NTA. Even if you are good friends, proposing to his gf at your wedding is a no go. Furthermore your soon-to-be wife already told you she does not like things like this. There is no reason to piss of your SO just so your boss is happy.
Next_Muffin_1576 said:
NTA. He‘s your boss - not a close relative/ friend, so I consider asking to propose at a wedding pretty rude. But he became TA for getting angry at you and insulting you and your wife. He just wants a cheap proposal with zero effort. I bet his girlfriend would be mortified if she knew about his plans to propose at his employee‘s wedding.
Eventually, he provided an update:
Edit 3 : I am overwhelmed by the kindness you guys have shown and the time you have taken to make sure my wedding goes smoothly. This is what I'm going to do: 1) tell fiance 2) start looking for a new job. I'll update you on what happens.