Groom bans mom from wearing white to wedding, 'since there's isn't a bride;' AITA?
Everyone knows that rule number one of wedding etiquette is that you shouldn't ever show up in a long, white lace gown unless you're the bride...
So, when a conflicted groom decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet about his upcoming wedding to his future husband and his mom's weird demands, people were ready to weigh in on the family drama.
AITA for telling my mom she won't be able to go to my wedding in her chosen dress?
I (30M) am getting married to my fiance (30M) in a couple months, I've told others about when the wedding is and almost everyone had a normal reaction. Almost. When I told my mom, she got upset.
My mom has always been weird with me, almost as if she was obsessed with me. It's always weirded me out.
After telling my mom, she ghosted me. After days of ignoring me, she finally contacted me and asked me to come over.
She told me she had finally found an outfit she'd like to wear and that I should come over to discuss over dinner; the weddings theme is white and blue.
The guests were supposed to wear blue and that's what I asked my mom to choose a colored outfit for.
When I asked her to show me the outfit, I was shocked to see her in a long white dress. She said that the dress was perfect for the wedding and that since there wasn't a bride, the parents should wear white.
I only have my mom and my husband doesn't have his parents, only his grandparents. I told her that dispite there being no bride, it was still weird for her to wear white.
She called me an a-hole, said that I was overreacting and that I was being dramatic. I told her that she won't wear it and that she wouldn't be allowed in the wedding if she wore white.
She's now mad at me and not talking to me, this is just a short version of everything that happened.
I may be overreacting, but am I in the wrong?
Later, the post was edited to clear up confusion:
The theme is blue and beige, the flowers are blue and white. I apologize since I know that was confusing, I must've missed that part while re-reading.
Everyone is free to wear whatever color, it's just that my mom likes the color blue so I recommend it. I understand how that is confusing, so I'm not going to blame anyone that was confused since i saw a few people.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:
Mrvls_Mllw said:
NTA - your mom is in the wrong. like really wrong. There's no bride, sure, but now she wants to look like a bride? like that won't take away any attention from you and future hubby. Absolutely not.
She needs the get her shit together, because her getting mad and then just popping back up like nothing happened, all happy to show you her outfit like she's been a fan of you getting married all along... and TADAAAAA it's a wedding dress. You said it yourself, her behavior around you weirds you out - no sh*t.
Also.... just a mental picture for you. You and your mom is having the son and mom dance... with her in what looks like a wedding dress... basically twirling around with you looking like she married you...
yeah no thanks. tell your mom to get a grip. we get it: it's a big day for a mom to "give" her son away... but this is not about her, should not be about her and she just needs to get in line. like now.
thatoneredheadgirl said:
NTA. Not cool that your mom used the fact that there won't be a bride as a reason she should be allowed to wear white.
I went to a wedding recently where everyone was asked to wear white/cream and guys could wear khaki/linen suits. I was annoyed at this because I'm a ginger so I'm super pale but the bride is a close friend so I wore a white dress.
There was one lady who wore a dress that was off white with a bright red thick pattern on it. She stuck out like a sore thumb.
My friends and I all agreed it's disrespectful to not follow the bride's wishes that everyone wear white. Mother of the groom is no exception.
Inner-Show-1172 said:
NTA. Your mother is overstepping and knows it.
Petefriend86 said:
NTA. White to a wedding is a no for any dress other than the wedding dress.
Forward_Ad_7988 said:
If this lady wants to be seen as a bride on her son's wedding, she kindly needs a therapist. NTA.