Groom bans two-year-old relative from wedding party, 'we didn't even bring our own son.' AITA?

"AITA for saying that my wife’s cousin and husband couldn’t bring their two-year-old daughter to our wedding party?"

Context: I (M34) and my wife (F30) got married last year, but we held our wedding party this year. The party was last Saturday, and my parents babysat our two-year-old son. The day before the party (Friday), my wife got a message from her cousin saying they wanted to bring their daughter to the party until her bedtime, after which her grandmother would take her home and put her to bed.

I said no — we scheduled the party to start at 5pm specifically so people who needed babysitters could make arrangements. Plus, it was an adult party: we had an open bar, lots of young guests, and many had already started pre-drinking. It wasn’t a kid-friendly event.

They then considered not coming at all (they had to travel) — basically to pressure us into saying yes to bringing the child — but we stood our ground. Today (Monday), my wife received a long message from her cousin, saying how terrible it was that the grandmother had to babysit all evening and couldn’t attend the party.

As if the arrangements they made with the grandmother were somehow our fault. She also mentioned that she spent a lot of money to attend, but no one seems to care about how much money we spent hosting this party for us and our friends and family — a party, not a children’s birthday. We didn’t even bring our own son.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

totallyworkinghere said:

NTA. Your own child wasn't even invited, why would a random cousin's child be allowed?

Over-Banana-1098 said:

Why didn't the spouse not related to you have someone on their side of the family watch their child? Adjacently, they've had a year to arrange care just like you did. You're NTA here.

Character-Extreme-34 said:

NTA, considering your own parents missed the party to watch your child for you. Cousin could have come with her mom and left kid with Hubby if it was so important for mom to be there.

saltyandsweet50 said:

NTA. I'm not sure where people get off being this entitled for a wedding that's not even theirs. Nobody asked them to drop that money and her holding it over you and your wife is manipulation.

If you didn't bring your own kid to the wedding, what made her think she would be the exception??? If she's going to act like this, better to distance yourself from her now before she gets this entitled over other future situations.

Celastr1na said:

NTA. You made the rules clear, they made the choice to attend based on those rules. They don’t get to backtrack and try to guilt you into changing them last minute. If cousin gave a crap about grandmother’s evening, cousin would have found an alternative babysitter.

If grandmother wanted to attend the party instead, grandmother should have refused to babysit. Either way, none of that is your concern.

imamage_fightme said:

NTA. Sounds like they had plenty of time to organize a different babysitter if they didn't want the grandma to miss your wedding party. Childfree is a very valid choice, and IMO the responsible choice when there is going to be a lot of drinking and rowdy behaviour involved (which is fair, it's a party! Not every party is for kids!). Some people are just shockingly entitled.