Groom charges guests $300 for plus-ones; one person calls venue to find out prices. AITA?
"AITA if I asked my friend about the wedding guest attendance fee?"
I was invited to my college friend’s wedding and on the invite, he asked for a $300 as the wedding gift as they won’t be accepting non-cash contributions. Me and a couple friends wanted to bring our partners to the wedding.
My friend said that if guests were to bring a plus one, the plus one would have to pay a $300 attendance fee to cover their seat as they weren’t initially invited. My friend said that the wedding costs them $300 per person so it would be fair for the plus one to pay for their attendance.
After looking into the wedding venue, I found their pricing and it was actually $250 per person, so $50 less per person taking everything into account. WIBTA if I asked my friend about the pricing he quoted?
I feel obligated to attend because my friend is insisting that I attend his wedding since it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and I should be there to support him and his bride.
Later, the post was edited to include:
Edit: We thought our partners were going to be invited anyways when we first heard about the news because the groom knows them. I was going to give extra to help pay for the seat if I did bring my partner because that's how it is in some cultures but I was confused about why the price was different.
Some commenters pointed out that there could be extra fees and add-ons so that could be why.
Also that it was in poor taste of me to look into the wedding venue, ask for a plus one, and look at the prices so I'm sorry for doing that and I won't bring the pricing up to the groom because I don't want to offend him more.
Some of my friends I know have 'made a profit' from their weddings because people gifted more so it can be a cultural thing.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...
badpandacat said:
Guest attendance fee? WTF?! An invitation is not an obligation. Decline. If your friend can't afford to throw a wedding, then he should get married in a courthouse and have a modest gathering within his means.
I see no point in asking him about the fee. The fee itself, regardless of the amount, is outrageous. I'd avoid this guest-funded sh$tshow myself. NTA.
AdelaQuested24 said:
NTA. But your friend is a tacky, tacky b$stard. You don't charge your guests to come to your wedding. If you can't afford it without doing that, you need to scale it back to something you actually can afford.
ohnosandpeople said:
I wouldn't ask- but then I just wouldn't bother to go and spend the $600 on a posh weekend away instead. Who sends invites for a wedding where the guests are expected to pay for it? Is this normal?? NTA.
Jos_Meid said:
NTA. It doesn’t sound like they really want guests there for it’s own sake if they’re demanding cash to be able to enter.
The normal etiquette at least where I’m from is that the guests are socially expected to give a wedding present, which can be cash but it’s not like a charge of a specific amount to enter the venue.
TBH, unless I was really close to this person, I wouldn’t attend if that’s how transactional they want to make the wedding. With the way they set it up, it sounds more like a profit seeking business activity rather than a wedding.
theholidayarmadillo3 said:
Nta. It’s not your job to pay for your friends wedding; asking for a monetary gift instead of a tangible gift is fine, asking for a specific amount that is quite a lot to cover the wedding is not fine. It’s their choice to have the wedding at that location not yours.
avatarjulius said:
NTA. Decline the invite. They want people to pay for their wedding and honeymoon. If they invited 100 people they pocket $5,000. You don't charge your wedding guest. If you can't afford it, do something else.
Ok_Zucchini_7975 said:
I’m still confused by the guest attendance fee in the first place. That’s a thing? I think you’d be NTA for just not going. At a guess, maybe the extra $50 /head is to go towards their honeymoon?