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Groom fires brother for proposing at wedding, 'he claims I'm being selfish;' AITA?

Groom fires brother for proposing at wedding, 'he claims I'm being selfish;' AITA?


Everyone should know by now that rule number one of wedding etiquette is to avoid doing anything that snags the spotlight from the couple getting married...

So, when a frustrated groom decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's "Am I the As^hole" about firing his brother for breaking the sacred code of weddings, people were dying for the details.

AITA (Am I the As&hole) for firing my brother after he proposed at my wedding?

So a bit of background. I own a plumbing company and hired my brother 3 years ago.

He was jobless after the pandemic and I offered for him to come work for me. He was 22 at the time, and is now looking to become a master plumber and start his own business.

At my wedding, in which he was the best man, he decided that during his speech he would give us all a big surprise and decided to propose to his long time girlfriend. Me and my wife were appalled.

We both feel like he stole the shine from our day. Everyone else in our families were so excited and kept taking pictures with her, looking at the ring, etc.

I decided to fire him the very next day. He still doesn’t understand why. He claims I’m being selfish and irrational, and our parents agree.

They’re saying that “business should be separate from our personal lives”, but I just can’t overlook what he did and how he ruined our day. Am I overthinking this?

Later, the post was edited to include:

EDIT: I should have mentioned this, but he will be getting severance. He is still my brother, and I wouldn’t let him lose his home over this. But as a small business I can’t imagine seeing him every day at work. Not now at least.

EDIT 2: I reached out to him and we plan on speaking later today in person.

EDIT 3: I love all of the people who say “you’ve been looking for a reason to fire him” or “you’re just jealous."

He was my best man. I never felt upset about him opening his own business, in fact he has my complete blessing.

This job was only supposed to be to get him on his feet again. I’m so happy he liked the field and wants to go further in it. There was no malice before this incident.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:

Fabulous_Egg_7603 said:

NTA this case can't separate family and business because you only offered the job because he was family. I would tell him that he can have the job back after he pays for half of the reception since he turned it into a combination wedding reception and engagement party.

hocuslotus said:

ESH. Him for hijacking your wedding day, you for being unprofessional and firing him.

Betzschaba said:

ESH. Yeah, what he did is really wrong, but fired your brother over this is just not reasonable. I would be really pissed with him, but taking his job is a really AH move. So yeah, you both are AH.

DonkeyRhubarb76 said:

ESH. Him for proposing at your wedding. You for leaving him without income. Your response is disproportionate in the grand scheme of things.

Rhypskallion said:

NTA. Bad behavior at a boss's wedding gets many people fired if they're stupid enough to misbehave.

Ok-Classic8323 said:

NTA. He deserves your wrath for ruining your day.

ethicalants said:

Crime doesn't fit the punishment YTA.

So, there you have it...

While the opinions were fairly divided here, most people agreed that everyone involved needs to apologize. What is a wedding with a beautiful horror story of family tension? Good riddance to this group chat...

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