Groom refuses to budge on wedding color scheme, 'I want Cadbury purple.' AITA? 'It wouldn't be compromising.'

"AITA for not budging on my wedding color scheme?"

So my fiancé (F34) and I (m27) have been dating for almost 5 years and have been engaged for about 9 months, we’ve recently started discussing about planning the wedding, I’ll be honest she’s doing a great job in planning it out, setting the budget, arranging venue viewings, etc. She is doing the majority of the planning herself and as it’s her big day I’m just letting her choose what she wants.

We’ve recently gotten to the stage where we have to talk about color schemes for my suit accessories and the bridesmaids dresses. My favorite colour is Cadbury Purple, it always has been. So I said I want that, at first she just said “okay” and we moved on.

It then got to the point where she was suggesting different types of colours we could have, “lilac, peach, sage green, baby blue." I said “I already told you I want Cadbury purple."

She said that I can’t have Cadbury purple because it doesn’t go with anything. I said I'm fine with her picking and choosing everything to do with the wedding but the only input I want to add is what I will be wearing.

She started to get into a strop, saying that I’m making it difficult and asking if we can just compromise and I said that it wouldn’t be compromising if it’s not the color I want.

I said if I don’t have Cadbury purple then I don’t care what color I have and she should just pick it herself and not pretend that I have a say in the wedding when I clearly don’t. So am I the ahole for wanting to stick to the only input I want to have in our wedding.

EDIT:

I am not wanting a full purple suit as most people are imagining, even though I do like the joker I don’t want to be cosplaying him on my wedding day. The idea I had was very simple, plain black trousers, white shirt, purple tie and a white blazer.

For extra context the main reason my fiancé isn’t keen on the colour is because it doesn’t go with the aesthetics of our venue, it’s a beautiful modern rustic barn with fairy lights and bright atmosphere, she believes that the colour I chose will contrast too much in what she envisioned.

To the people saying that because we can’t pick a colour we shouldn’t get married, we’re not going to let a colour scheme end our relationship. I understand that my taste may not be the best.

I’ve never been one to care about how I look and I don’t really wear anything special other then football tops and joggers, but I do like my idea of what I want to wear and I don’t think it’s too outlandish and if you do then, hey your entitled to your opinion on that.

I also don’t know if I explained it too well, with the planning itself we are very very early stages, we’ve not even set a date yet. All the work which has been done so far is budget, a few venue viewings, guest list (which I did have an input in) and starting to pick a color scheme.

Just for those who were berating me in the comments saying that she has done all this work by herself, and I’m making it harder for her. the work hasn’t begun yet. I’ve told her if she wants my input on anything I’ll help but I don’t want to get in her way of having the wedding she wants.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Trick_Delivery4609 said:

If you guys can't compromise on wedding colors, your marriage doesn't look too promising. It is soooo much harder once you get married. Would you consider purple ties? Purple flowers or decor?

I think that deep purple could go with lots of things or even her bridesmaids dresses. She probably just wants you to wear a "normal" black suit or something more normal. Sit her down and ask. Do you HAVE to wear all purple or just a piece? ESH.

ChiltonGains said:

YTA. Not because you want to have your purple suit stuff, but because you're not involved with any of the other planning. You can't just plan one thing and then leave everything else to your fiancé.

Cause of course your pick is going to clash with everything else! You boxed yourself into a corner by not being involved in any of the other decisions. Now your previous color scheme doesn't go with anything else! If that's something that's important to you in the wedding, you gotta be involved in the rest of the planning!

Severe_Chicken213 said:

YTA. You’ve dumped the burden of planning everything on her, then give her the challenge of trying to incorporate Cadbury purple into a decent colour scheme.

She’s offered several compromises of non traditional colors, so it’s not that she wants to stick you in traditional black, she just can’t figure out how to plan a wedding with Willy Wonka. But you’re unwilling to work with her at all. You’ve only contributed to one decision, and it’s now dictating the rest of the wedding that you aren’t even planning.

babjbhba said:

YTA you can’t expect to leave all planning to your fiancé then get mad when she does all the planning. You chose not to have any say in the planning.

11SkiHill said:

YTA. With terrible taste. Let the bride do her thing. What's wrong with you?

princessro123 said:

YTA. you’re not doing her a favor by “letting” her choose and plan your entire wedding while forcing her to incorporate the ugliest color known to man just because you don’t care about anything other than dressing like teenage justin bieber on your wedding day.

Asking her do all the work with a color that’s impossible to work with all while thinking you’re being easy going by forcing her to do all the work is quite delusional if you ask me.

Why don’t you incorporate purple into your bouquets, candles, decor, ties etc but tied in with pastels like blue, yellow, peach etc? your one thing you want control over isn’t really one thing, it dictates the entire vibe and aesthetic of the wedding.