My dad (50s) got a new girlfriend (40s) a few months ago. I (27m) was happy for him initially and then at my engagement party to my fiancée (27f) we had an explosive incident with the new girlfriends husband. The husband she cheated on my dad with.
The husband she was still living with and deceiving at that point. My dad knew she was married and still with her husband as far as he knew and he dated her anyway and let her move in when her husband kicked her out of the house that he owned apparently? I wasn't happy with dad. Firstly for bringing that drama to my engagement party but also to do something like that to begin with.
The husband has been a big problem for them since then and the police have been called multiple times. Dad wants to act like everything's normal and I told him to stop, because he was responsible for ruining the engagement party. I asked him how he could put us through that. He said he had no idea the husband was such an a#$ at the time and I brought up sleeping with his wife might piss him off.
I also accused dad's girlfriend of taunting the husband with the affair because I learned after the fact she'd posted on Facebook which is how he found out what was going on and where they were. I said she wasn't hiding very well for someone having an affair.
Dad told me it really wasn't my business what she does. I said her presence caused a scene and meant the police had to be called to my engagement party and I asked what reaction he expected me to have.
I took some space from dad. He continued calling and texting but I didn't answer. He wanted us to discuss the wedding and what his girlfriend's role will be. I told him she's not invited and he's probably not going to be either. I told him I don't want his dating a married woman drama ruining my wedding.
I told him we (fiancée and me) didn't deserve that. He told me he raised me solo, we were always close, I have to invite him. I asked if he'd really be okay with leaving his girlfriend at home and he said no. I told him I don't want her drama at my wedding.
He tried to make promises. But I know he can't keep them. He can't stop her posting on her socials and he can't stop her husband showing up and being the reason the police are called. AITA?
Last_Friend_6350 said:
I wouldn’t invite him to the wedding. He’s likely to bring his girlfriend regardless of whether she’s invited or not and the husband is bound to show up at some point as well.
I’d definitely hire security to keep out your Dad, the girlfriend and her husband. In your shoes, I’d be disappointed at your Dad’s lack of morals in dating a married woman who’s also happy to flaunt the affair on Facebook.
No_University5296 said:
NTA. He should not even question who you want at your wedding. She should not be there and your dad should not be if he just can’t leave her at home . He should be ashamed.
calacmack said:
What seems to be missing in all of this drama is a heartfelt apology from your father. He instead is defensive and dismissive, and attempts to deflect the situation by wanting to just focus on your upcoming wedding.
It seems to be clear that he cannot control his girlfriend's behavior which means unexpected situations remain a possibility. He is being selfish and is acting like an AH and his girlfriend should not be welcomed at your wedding. NTA.
Abby_Rain_87 said:
NTA. Your dad is so wrong for dating a married woman and the way she is going about ruining her marriage and taunting her husband is messed up and speaks to her character. I wouldn't want anything to do with a person like that and your dad should be careful with her.
Safe_Perspective9633 said:
NTA - You absolutely do not HAVE to invite him. It sucks. I'm certain you love your dad and truly want HIM there. But, no, you do not HAVE to invite him. (Also your dad is a fool. If she cheated on her husband with him, she will definitely cheat on him with someone else eventually.)
Free_Run454 said:
NTA. It's your wedding and you have good reason for not inviting her. This is a tough situation. I hope you can convince your dad to show up solo, but I'm not holding out hope.