Groom uninvites parents from dry wedding, 'I guess I’ll just have to drink beforehand.' AITA?
"AITA for uninviting my parents from my wedding?"
I (45M) am getting married to my fiancé (49M) next week and my family has done nothing but make my life harder. I want a gluten free cake for my husband-to-be? “No. Those don’t taste as good. Only make it 1 tier of the cake.” I want my family to wear blue for pictures? “No. They don’t look good in blue. They prefer warm colors.”
I don’t want my nephew to bring the rings down? “But he’ll miss out on such a big moment for his uncle!” Every time I try and make a decision somebody has to come along and say something about how my decision is wrong. But I was willing to put up with all that. The last straw was earlier tonight when my parents insisted we have an open bar instead of a dry wedding.
A dry wedding was our decision. There’s no alcoholics on either side of our family. But we don’t like drinking. We don’t like how loud and obnoxious people become when they drink. We just wanted a simple. Beautiful wedding. But my parents just could not turn down another opportunity to complain about something.
Telling us about how “oh it’s too hard to meet people without a drink or two” or “it’s a time to celebrate and party! At least have something for us to have!” But I wasn’t budging. I told them that the dry wedding was already decided and if they don’t want to stay for the reception, they can leave after the ceremony.
My dad chimed in with “I guess I’ll just have to drink before hand then”. And I lost it. I told him “actually. You won’t even have to do that. I’m done. You’re not coming. You’ve walked all over me this whole time. But this isn’t about you. This day is about me and my fiancé. And if you can’t stay sober to meet his family then you don’t need to meet them at all.”
My fiancé grabbed the keys and he walked out with me. He supports my decision on this, luckily. But I can’t help but feel bad. I’m their oldest kid finally getting married and I just told them they can’t be there to see it. Im wondering if I should allow a bottle of champagne at dinner just to appease them or if I should stick to the invite being taken away. So. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
MerlinBiggs said:
NTA. It's your wedding and you're entitled to have it how you want.
BoomBoomBoom123456 said:
NTA. Well done for sticking up for yourself. Your parents/family should be making your life as easy as possible, not adding to the stress. I can only imagine that this is the type of behavior you’ve dealt with your whole life, but that doesn’t make it okay. I don’t know what "the rings" are, but expecting your nephew to be able to put on a show against your wishes is crazy. Hope you have a fantastic wedding.
No_Glove_1575 said:
ESH - I would say NTA but the actions on both sides are a bit of a mixed bag. Telling people what to wear to an event (with a few exceptions) is a bit controlling. Seems like there are bigger issues between you and your parents and this is just a symptom.
Individual_Metal_983 said:
This is your wedding. The decisions are yours. Everyone knows there is a risk of cross contamination with GF next to gluten. I like a drink but really? They cannot go alcohol-free for one event? NTA if they have nothing nice to say they shouldn't bother attending.
TickityTickityBoom said:
NTA - however weddings are normally very full for guests and getting a bit drunk makes things more fun for others. Perhaps just elope and have a lunch/picnic to announce it.
SpinIggy said:
NTA, it's your wedding so you get to plan your party. Your parents aren't wrong in the comments they made, but the day isn't about your guests. It's about you and your fiance.