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'WIBTA if I asked for a wedding favor without going to the wedding?'

'WIBTA if I asked for a wedding favor without going to the wedding?'


"WIBTA if I asked for a wedding favor without going to the wedding?"

My local friend Tania is getting married to her long term partner, James. They are both well off. As a wedding favor, Tania and James are covering the hotel and the airfare for everyone attending from out of town, so that everyone they love can make it.

This includes for my partner Finn and I, as it is being held near James' family and not where Tania and I live. This will be about $3,500 American Dollars.

Finn and I are also engaged. We are long distance. We live in different countries. We are saving up to move in together but the flights alone are thousands, not to mention the immigration costs. We are almost there, we're literally just saving for the final flights and shipping Finn's stuff.

I know the offer is for reimbursing travel to the wedding, but Tania's 'wedding favor' would literally allow us to be together, permanently, in person, as a couple, if she used it on reuniting us instead of flying us both to her wedding.

I feel this would be a very romantic thing for Tania and James to do, and Finn agrees. Frankly, I feel like it was a little taunting of Tania to make us this offer when she knows we're saving so hard to be together and she's offering everyone wedding vacations worth the same amount instead.

However, the one friend I've asked about this says I am 'insane' for even thinking of proposing this and that 'you can't ask for something like this.' However, I'm considering going for it, because of how much I love Finn and how well off Tania and James both are.

I feel that Tania will see I am asking out of love for Finn. My friend told me to post here and see what the general public! WIBTA if I asked for a wedding favor to be used to reunite Finn and I vs. us traveling to their wedding?

YIKES...Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this beautiful faux pas:

Blackbird6 said:

YWBTA. They’re offering to pay for their loved ones to attend their wedding. You are clearly not interested in their love for each other, and you want to ask them to fork over thousands of dollars for yours?

Not only is this entitled AF, but it’s a great way to ruin your friendship and get uninvited to the wedding at the same time.

laughinglovinglivid said:

YTA. She’s paying to ensure the people she loves can come to her wedding, not funding your relationship. I’m genuinely horrified you’d even think about asking.

NGDGUnpunished said:

YWBTAH. I agree with your friend that it would be insane for you to ask Tania to foot the bill for a huge expense that has nothing whatsoever to do with celebrating her wedding.

It's just plain greedy and will send the message you are only her friend for what she can give you, which is a pretty efficient way to end said friendship.

Mysterious-Bag-5283 said:

Yta she paid because she wants them in her wedding if your partner can't make it why she have to hand him money.

And finn agrees who cares if your boyfriend agrees or not, the bride and groom is the one who pays. They have to be the one who agrees, not you or your boyfriend. If you asked me this I don't care how many years we're friends, I will drop the friendship.

RTJ333 said:

YWBTA. Their very generous wedding favor is so that their loved ones can celebrate their love for each other and be part of their special day. Asking for the money to not be part of their wedding but rather do whatever else you'd like is tacky and just crazy.

Sufficient_Angle_667 said:

YTA for even thinking about asking. It's extremely kind of your friends to offer to pay for tickets to go to their wedding as a wedding favor asking for her to pay for tickets for you to go somewhere else is tacky.

Note to any guests planning on skipping the wedding but still requesting the bride and groom's incredibly kind offer...RESIST THE URGE. Unless these 'friends,' are planning on cutting the friendship short, this would be a hilariously entitled and bold move.

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