For context, I (22M) my fiancée (22F) are getting married early next year. However her best friend who didn’t even make her a brides maid, but all the other friends a bridesmaid.
Wants us to fly out for her wedding in total it’s going to cost us $2,000 which is quite literally our monthly rent for a three day trip, and a work day on my end. I need everything I can to save up for our wedding and I just don’t think it’s fair that I even have to go on this trip.
To me, it’s a huge waste of money. So I guess this is a two part question: if I go will it be sh%tty to not bring a gift considering we are spending a little over 2 grand? And if I don’t go, am I am ahole for not traveling with my fiancé to save our finances?
I am struggling to make ends meet with my new job switch every single day trying to put money together to my checks settle out, I don’t think it’s worth going it’s just to much, we can barely put the down payment for our venue which is less than that trip!
In my opinion, if you invite people to a destination wedding, that is the gift.
I actually think that if the bride and groom want to have a destination wedding, then they should pay for everyone themselves. I find that so incredibly rude if they expect everyone to drop $2k and 3 days of their lives just because they want a special wedding.
NTA skip it unless this was a destination you always wanted to go to and you wanted to make a vacation out of it.
For a destination wedding your presence is the gift. NTA.
NTA. Your presence is the gift when they expect people to pay that kind of money. Most people who have destination weddings understand that. Any one who doesn't, isn't worth your time or your friendship.
Also, tbh if it's that expensive AND You're saving for a wedding yourselves. I'd just let my fiancé go and stay home. They don't need you both there.
NTA. Im surprised that your fiancée wants to attend given that she was snubbed as a bridesmaid. Ouch.