'AITA for not getting over my half sisters stealing (with our mom's permission) and breaking the necklace my dad got me?'
"AITA for not getting over my half sisters stealing (with our mom's permission) and breaking the necklace my dad got me?"
I (17f) have an older brother (20m) and three younger half siblings (9f, 8f and 5m). Me and my brother share the same mom and dad. Our dad died when I was 6 and he was 9.
Our parents marriage hadn't been so good and my mom started dating again a couple of months after dad died. She told us she hadn't been happy and that they were headed for divorce so she wanted understanding from us that she could date again and stuff like that.
Mom did remarry and had my half siblings. We're not the picture perfect blended family and that's something that upsets mom. She's also had her issues with how me and my brother treasure our dad's memory. She feels like we don't let go enough to be healthy.
Like my necklace. Dad bought me a heart necklace when I was 5 that had my name engraved on it. I felt so grown up owning it and I wore it a lot. After he died I refused to take it off unless I was showering, swimming or going to bed.
I took extra special care of it because it was my favorite thing ever from dad and felt extra special. Mom never thought I should have been given it so young and I don't disagree but I'm glad he got it for me at the same time because he didn't live to see me grow up enough to be a better age.
After mom remarried she started insisting I take the necklace off sometimes. She told me it was an unhealthy attachment I had to it and I valued it more than I did most people which wasn't okay. She said that because I wouldn't let my stepfather touch it when he asked to hold it one time. I don't even know why he'd ask that.
But anyway, mom insisted I had to take it off some days and after fighting between us I did. I still wore it most days but one day a week, or sometimes two when really pressured, I'd take it off.
Two weeks ago on the day I took it off my half sisters stole it (with mom's permission) and when they realized I was looking for it they hid it. When I told them to give it back they said they just wanted to borrow it and mom said they could.
She and I got into a fight and I told her they had no business taking that necklace. She told me it wasn't a grossly expensive necklace and it was pretty and if I could have it at 5, they could borrow it at their ages.
I said dad bought me that and I never agreed to share it with them. She told me it didn't matter and I said it did to me. Then I told her if it got broken I would never forgive any of them.
It got broken. They kept moving it so I wouldn't find it and the last time they chipped part of the heart, lost some of the diamond pieces and they broke the chain in three places.
I was furious and my mom was furious because I refused to accept my half sisters apology and I told mom I blamed her most of all. She said accidents happen and I shouldn't value the necklace more than my family. I told her that necklace represents one of the most important members of my family and I'd rather have it whole than her whole stupid second family.
My mom's husband told me he'd buy me a replacement and then I could forgive everyone. I told him that wouldn't mean anything to me because it's not the one my dad bought. He told me it could represent both dads. I told him I only have one and to leave me alone.
My grandparents told me they knew someone who could fix/patch it back together. Mom said I didn't deserve it fixed given my reaction. But they took it for repairs anyway. It can't be perfectly fixed but the chain can be replaced and the heart can be made look better. The fact it ended up like that still bothered me though and mom was pissed off that I didn't just get over it.
Then I got really sick (and I'm still sick and recovering) and mom expected me to get over it then but I didn't. Yesterday was my first day feeling a little better and she told me I need to tell my half sisters I forgive them. I refused.
She told me I am breaking their hearts and I told her then she should explain to them why the three of them did something awful and she should take responsibility for it. I told her if any of them touch something dad got me again I would never speak to them and I told her I don't trust any of them.
I said if she wasn't so busy hating dad and hating me and my brother for still loving him then none of this would've happened. My mom is really angry at me and I'm really livid at her too. AITA?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
I would be moving everything your dad got you out of the house and sending it to your parental grandparents for safe keeping. I would also ask to spend Christmas with them instead of your mom and her family.
You are old enough now to be practically an adult. If you move out any attempts to get you back won't really work. I'd ask your parental grandparents to take you in and stay with them. See if they can get custody. Protect your peace.
Theajeou (OP)
My grandparents talked about having me and my brother spend Christmas with them already. My mom told me I wasn't allowed to but right now I don't want to listen to her say no after what she did. And she can say it's not okay to blame her or my half sisters for it but she wouldn't like it if I stole and broke something that was sentimental to her.
Living with my grandparents would not be a good option until graduation because they don't live close enough to my school. After graduation I would move in with them in a heartbeat.
Nta, I lost my dad really young as well I’ve still got my infant bracelets he had made for me that I passed on to my own daughters and they mean the world to me. Your mom is a selfish person her hatred of your dad is unhealthy and she should’ve never forced that on you.