Cousin shows up to all white wedding ceremony in gold dress, bride has security escort her out. AITA? + Photo of dress
"AITA For having my cousin thrown out of my wedding for not wearing white?"
Ok-Avocado1639
I (28F) got married two weeks ago and I am still getting backlash from what happened so I'm here to see if I really am in the wrong. My husband and I decided to have a child free white wedding where the guests are in white.
I personally don't like to wear white because I always feel that no matter what I'm doing something always manages to get me dirty. So, my dress was not white but blue.
This all started when I decided who would be in my bridal party. I chose two friends from middle school, one from high school, my 16-yr old niece and my cousin. Since I was having a child free wedding, I didn't want anyone under the age of 18 but my whole family knows my niece is my one exception.
When we went to the dress shop to pick out dresses, I informed my bridesmaids they would be in black to match the groomsman. Everyone was on board with the color, and we found a dress that fit everyone, and the top could be adjusted for comfort.
Everything was going great until my cousin asked why my niece was getting the same dress, so I told her she was a bridesmaid. Cousin said she assumed she was there for a flower girl dress since I'm not inviting anyone under 18 and if I needed another bridesmaid her daughter could do it.
I told cousin no, and her daughter is a guest. Things got awkward but we were done so we left, and I took my niece out and explained she was a bridesmaid and that wasn't changing.
Everything was going great after that until bridal dress shopping. At that point I had done a lot of research to find the dress style I liked, the color I wanted and where I could get it. I went to the appointment with my bridesmaids, my parents, and in-laws. Everything was fine but I didn't like anything I picked until my mom found a dress.
I didn't think I would like but ended up being the one and they could get it in my color. We were all happy until my cousin said something that made me snap. She said that I should pick a dress that made me look prettier and not as fat.
I blacked out and said a bunch of things I shouldn't have, then kicked her out of the bridal party and the wedding. A few days later my aunt whom I love and respect called to ask for my cousin to be invited as a guest. I did feel guilty about the things I said so I said yes.
Fast forward to the wedding and it was my turn to walk out and the first thing, I see out the corner of my eye is GOLD. My cousin sat in a middle row on the aisle in a gold strapless dress. (how she looked) I wanted to cry but we continued on and once we were finished, I told my wedding planner to have her kicked out and kept away.
A few think she could have stayed but others think she should have followed the dress code. My aunt thinks I could have asked her to leave instead of having security throw her out and embarrass her. AITA for throwing my cousin out for wearing gold not white?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
WhereWeretheAdults
ESH. "I personally don't like to wear white..." Oh, I have a great idea! Let's force everyone else to wear white if they want the privilege of coming to my wedding. Yeah. That's a bit of logic I can't get my head around. Cousin is an AH also.
riontach
ESH. It sounds like she was being deliberately spiteful. However, I would absolutely not attend a wedding that required me to wear white. Your demand of your guests was unreasonable.
StAlvis
ESH
I decided to have a child free white wedding where the guests are in white. I personally don't like to wear white because I always feel that no matter what I'm doing something always manages to get me dirty."
I just can't get past the combination of this narrow dress code and your acknowledgment that it sucks.
"I blacked out and said a bunch of things I shouldn't have."
I do not think "blacking out" is what you think it is.
Ducky818
Yep. The whole "I don't like to wear white but expect all my wedding guests to wear it". What kind of logic is that?!?
Unless I'm in the wedding party, I'm going to wear what I want and already have in my closet.
est-in-two-galaxies
The logic is that the guests are merely props for the Instagram pictures and not friends and family you want to celebrate with.
Several_Essay_7028
YTA, just based on this "My husband and I decided to have a child free white wedding where the guests are in white. I personally don't like to wear white because I always feel that no matter what I'm doing something always manages to get me dirty. So, my dress was not white but blue.".
You hate wearing white, so you required that all your guests wear white. And one person "disobeyed" and got escorted by secutity?! Seriously? Absolutely YTA. Get over yourself, you are not the center of the universe.
Marvelous_Marigolds
NTA. I'm a little confused because I've heard of all white events so I'm not sure why an all white wedding has so many people up in arms. Many formal events have themes and dress codes this isn't anything new. Just say y'all don't know how to dress and keep it moving.
A lot of people seem to be brushing past the fact that your cousin took not getting her way as a time to body shame you during your wedding dress fitting. Why did she think that was okay? Why did her mom think that was okay and turned around to vouch for her? No shizz you went off after something like that came out.