'Heartless' bride bans sister-in-law's kids from child-free wedding, 'now my family is divided.' AITA?
"AITAH for telling my sister in law she can't bring her kids to MY wedding?"
I (28F) am getting married in a few months, and my fiance and i have been planning a child free wedding. We both agreed that we want our wedding to be an adult only affair. We made this very clear on our invitations!
However, my sister in law (32 F) has four young children and she's upset about our decision. She called me pleading to make an exception for her kids, saying that she couldn't leave them.
I empathize but I stood firm on our decision, explaining that we wanted a more formal setting without kids running around, I suggested she could enjoy a night off and assured her we would help her find some childcare options.
She got upset and accused me of being heartless and said if her kids weren't welcomed she wouldn't attend. My brother (her husband) called me saying I was causing unnecessary drama and that it was unfair to exclude her children.
Now my family is divided. Some understand our wishes while others think I'm being heartless about having a child free wedding so I'm coming to you Reddit AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Desertbroad said:
I don’t understand why they are upset! Why don’t they want to hire a sitter? To create so much drama, even to go so far as to get the entire family involved is so petty and entitled that I am having a hard time wrapping my head around it! Are there other factors such as a special needs child or maybe a matter of expense? Wow! NTA!!
ShadoMonkey said:
No it’s your wedding your allowed to not have children there if you don’t want them.
Single_Bandicoot3331 said:
NTA it’s your wedding so you can have it child free if you want to . She can decide to attend or she can decide to stay home with her kids . Those are her options and she needs to decide what works for her . She’s causing unnecessary drama pushing to have things her way.
I’m sure it’s annoying because she’s not saying she won’t go without her kids which would be fine. Instead she’s forcing the issue to get them to attend.
I’d be petty and message everyone and cry and complain and be a bridezilla saying how she wants your day to be about her. And how it’s unfair because she had her day. Tell everyone how she’s trying to steal your day. Tell everyone how your brother is fighting with you and making your wedding an unpleasant event.
barbpca502 said:
NTA do not give in to her tantrum because she will continue to use these same tactics to manipulate you! You will teach her how to treat you now and in the future! No is the only answer! Here is a quote that I think you need to read and then read again:
If “keeping the peace” requires you to betray yourself, I am pretty sure that is not peace and I am pretty sure it is not worth keeping. Perhaps it is time to try: “I am okay with your disappointment in me” - Rachael Mary Stafford
Miss_Melody_Pond said:
NTA. No, SIL is definitely the drama monger. When will people stop thinking they are the exception to every rule! She has a hide and should be embarrassed by her entitled behavior. If she wants to act petty and not attend, let her. If she did go she’d probably spend the whole night with a face like a cats arse.
Zero tolerance mate, don’t let her or her enabler of a husband bait you into an argument. These are the rules, I do not care what you think of them, this is my wedding come or don’t. End of story. Ugh people like this make me cranky. Save for a babysitter and have a kid free night enjoying the joining of two couples or sit at home and wallow in silence.