'AITA for planning a hiking and picnic event that wasn’t wheelchair accessible?'

"AITA for planning a hiking and picnic event that wasn’t wheelchair accessible?"

I (late 20s) help run a small local group that organizes social events for adults in our area (most members 20-40s), to help people reconnect post-pandemic and get out of isolation habits. We’ve held tons of different events: mall hangouts, museum trips, science centers, metro park picnics, basically things that are fun, low-cost and don't need alcohol.

This month we decided to a hiking and picnic day at a nearby national park. The trails there are really pretty, but not paved, so it was definitely a more hike, physically active event compared to some of our other events.

The day of the event, a member posted in our Facebook group asking if it was wheelchair accessible. At that point, it was too late to change plans, and honestly, the answer was no the hike definitely wasn’t accessible, and the picnic might have been accessible, but since the tables are first-come-first-serve, we couldn’t guarantee a flat easy to get to spot.

So I told them that it may not be fully accessible and gave the best and worst case areas we saw we may picnic at with pics from Google. That’s when everything blew up. The member started calling us ableist and an AH for not thinking of them, saying we should have thought about accessibility first, and that holding an event like this made them feel like an afterthought.

People were blowing up our facebook group, saying we should only plan events that are accessible to everyone and others where saying that not everything could be completely accessible. Now this may be where I may be more of the AH.

After all the drama and being accused of being ableist I responded with a bit of a snarky and rude remark saying "sorry I couldn't go out with my hammer and chisel the night before and make sure the rocky trails where smooth for everyone" and that "If you would have actually read the event when we posted it you would have seen where it's located and that it likely wasn't accessible"

This is the first event we’ve done that wasn’t wheelchair accessible. Literally all our past ones were. The member who started the argument has come to maybe one or two events total. It just feels like we got attacked for trying to do something a little different for the people who do show up regularly.

The event itself was super successful great turnout, everyone who came had fun, and people are already asking when we’ll do another one. But now there’s drama and I feel like no matter what we do, someone will be upset. I get wanting to feel included, and I don’t want anyone to feel excluded, but is it really fair to make every event work for every single person?

This is what people had to say to OP:

Uubilicious_The_Wise said:

As the saying goes, You can't please all of the people all of the time.

For planning the event, NTA. For your snarky comment, YTA.

onlysophiassecret said:

ESH. You shouldn't have said that. They shouldn't have responded to a lack of accessibility like that. There are ways to communicate like adults and honestly it doesn't sound like anyone did.

I think put your ego aside and communicate with the members who expressed they were upset and try to learn from it. Community events should serve the community. Its understandable that not everything is always 100% accessible, unfortunately thats the way of the world, but if you're going to take a community leader role you need to act like a leader and try your best.

Also, be kinder next time, they probably felt excluded enough already without your comment. I understand being hurt for receiving so many comments about an oversight.

InterviewGlum9263 said:

ESH. I'm in a wheelchair myself. Not every event can be accessible to everyone, and no one was demanding last-minute changes. Still, you didn’t plan the event with accessibility in mind, nor did you clearly state in the description that it wasn’t accessible. The Facebook member shouldn’t have called you an AH, but your response was unnecessarily rude.

So no, you’re not an AH for organizing a hiking and picnic event that wasn’t wheelchair accessible, but you are for how you communicated and handled the situation. That said, don’t be discouraged from organizing more social events. Your local group does great work, and it’s appreciated.

And slendermanismydad said:

It's a Facebook group where you all are planning things for free. You're not going to be able to accommodate anyone all the time. I would have banned them from the group for starting drama. They are welcome to start their own group. Don't fall for this in the future. NTA.