Host insists relative's service dog 'act like it's in public' at 4-year-old's birthday. AITA?

"AITA? Service Dog had to act like it's in public..."

Next weekend, I am hosting a party for my 4 year old son and extended family are invited. One family member has a service dog. I don't like dogs. They brought up the service dog coming and I okayed it, but I laid out some rules. Basically, they had to act like they were going to a public place.

No going to the bathroom, no feeding it, stays off furniture, no being loose and playing, no barking. I told them I expected it to act like it was working the entire time. Officially on the invite this was a two hour party, then I expected most people to leave. This family member has told me this is ridiculous and I'm an ahole.

They expected more from family and these rules were absurd. They declined the invitation and communicated they declined to other families. It has caused drama and I've been hearing it from others. AITA?

Note: to clarify. I’m willing to accommodate a service dog, not a pet. Prior family members have been okay with the dog having off time and running around a yard for example. I don’t want that.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

slackerchic said:

"No going to the bathroom." So...you don't go to the bathroom while you're at work? Damn OP your kidneys must be wrecked. YTA.

StaringAtStarshine said:

YTA. Assuming this is a legitimate service dog, then it already is going to be very well-behaved, and there was no reason for you to lay any ground rules. And even if it wasn't a service dog: you're infantilizing your family member by assuming they wouldn't do the bare minimum of not allowing their dog to have an accident in your house or ruin your furniture.

Like any respectful person obviously wouldn't do that. It sounds like you just assume all dogs act wild no matter what? I also take issue with you saying "no feeding" as a rule. Presumably you wouldn't want your human kid to go without food or water for two hours? It sounds like you just have a really fundamental misunderstanding of how a highly trained dog behaves.

Educational-Lime-393 said:

YTA the resentment about the poor service dog and family member who depends on it is dripping from your post.

tsPeppercorn said:

YTA. Unless the dog has acted badly in your presence in the past, then assume it will always act like it is working- because it IS working. Giving your family member a set of "rules" only makes them feel unwelcome and is bordering on judgmental.

You don't think they know how to manage a professionally trained dog for a couple of hours? Get a grip. They are absolutely right that family should treat them better. Just because you don't like dogs doesn't mean you get to act like an ahole. This dog is trained to provide a service that your family member NEEDS.

Cherisse23 said:

If the reason you felt the need to ask this is because in the past this dog has not acted in that way then NTA. It’s not a real service dog then and your family member is an AH. Fake service dogs have made life for real service dog users dramatically more difficult.

revengeofthebiscuit said:

YTA. An actual service dog does none of these things. Your house is not its home; if it’s a legitimate and trained service dog, it won’t do these things.