Trust issues surface when wife spends night in hotel with 'known seducer.' AITA? + Update
"AITA, for being angry with my wife after she stayed in a hotel with another man"
Crafty_Original1382
I (28m) and my wife (28f) have been married for 2 years been in a relationship for 6. We both enjoy going to live music and sometimes will go with friends while the other needs to work.
My wife was invited to go to a show on a Saturday night with a male friend, we will call him Larry. They have gone to shows before with other people involved and come back late at night.
This has always been fine. This time the other person going with them canceled so it would just be the two of them. My wife approached me the morning of the show saying that Larry "was not comfortable driving home after the show that night" so they would be getting a hotel room together.
She asked if I was alright with that. I responded "No I'm not" and gave her the reasoning why. I have known Larry for a few months. Larry, likes to brag about visiting the area that the show is going to be. When he goes there he reserves hotel rooms and specifically takes married women there to sleep with.
Larry has also been reprimanded at his job for using his management position to aquire employees phone numbers so he can "firt" with them. My wife looked at me told me "Okay" and did not return home until 1:00pm Sunday. I have not spoken to her other than professionally for almost 2 days. AITA?
Update: As I was trying to keep this anonymous, this did not happen yesterday. I have talked with my wife about this. She adamantly claims that he did not come to the hotel with her until early morning and was "Messed up" when he arrived forcing her to drive back.
Yes the 3rd person did exist I have spoken with that person too. They work a catering position that someone bailed on so could not attend. Larry has proceeded to not speak to myself or my wife and has moved out of state, no one would employ him anymore.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP:
kinkybynature0
NTA I wouldn’t want my wife sharing a room with any guy let alone a shady, sleezy one. She’s asked, you said No and she did it anyway. Either they’ve been sleeping together for a while and she wanted to be with him no matter what you said or they aren’t hooking up, just slept in the same room but she doesn’t have respect for you and your marriage. Either way, nothing good will come of this.
Professional-Leave24
Yeah, sorry. This would be a huge deal for any married couple. I'm guessing they may already be inappropriate.
WeimSean
You should trust your partner. But it's a double edged sword, because your partner should never put themselves in a situation where you have to doubt them. Like say....spending a night in a hotel with a known sleaze bag despite being asked not to. Husband has every right to be angry here.
Classic_County9434
The reasons you gave her weren’t just simple “I’m jealous” reasons. They’re valid concerns, she did it anyway, and didn’t come home till 1pm? That’s suspicious af. NTA.
travisforchess
I'm jealous concerns are okay though. There's no reason a married woman should be spending a night in a hotel room with a guy the husband has only known for a few months.
PovBy899
She did what??? I would say my goodbyes to her prior her returning home. It's not whether she slept with him or not. But after you told her your concerns she just took a dump on them and did it anyways?
This is, for me it would be, something I would not come back from. Since she doesn't care about your feelings and about the marriage as a whole, she might as well be single again.
celticmusebooks
So it's basically a one hour drive--- but she didn't come home until 1PM the next day. Yeah, that's not good.
pantiechrist80
No matter what happened between them, your wife does not respect you. You both had an adult conversation, and without telling you she did it anyway. I know you say you trust your wife. But I'm guessing she already had the mind set.
"He's already going to be mad at me, can't get in any more trouble then I already am." I wouldn't be surprised if they fooled around and she said "I assume I was single because I didn't come home and you would be mad". This sucks man.
pukbrain
NTA. Lawyer up now, what are you waiting for? If my spouse did something like that, I am out of their life asap. This much disrespect is unbearable.
ResponsiblePear7063
Funny how normally she comes home yet only when they found out the other person invited wasn’t going to be able to make it all of a sudden they HAVE to stay the night together in a hotel? lol yeah she hooked up with Larry.
-whiteroom-
I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. Your wife sucks, and I would say it's a safe bet she crossed the line with him. Anyone with half a brain would know getting a hotel room with a known adulterer already crosses a line and breaks trust in a relationship. You now have schrodingers wife.