'How to put someone in their place…my mother took care of it!'
"How to put someone in their place…my mother took care of it!"
26 years ago my parents paid a lot of money and put in a ton of effort to make my wedding perfect, and it was! My wedding was April 8, 2000, about a week after my honeymoon was over my great grandmother got very sick and entered hospice, my mother took her into her house to make her transition as easy as possible.
Put a hospital bed into the dining room with all of the medical things needed to keep her comfortable. My new husband and I and our 5 year old daughter moved into my mom and dad’s house to help my mother. We moved into the garage, which was unfinished. It was not a great situation but I was happy to help my mother.
My great grandmother took about a month to pass, she was more like a mom to my mother so the loss was tremendous for all of us, but my mother took it very hard. I wasn’t able to get to my thank you cards right away because of the situation, but my plan was to write very personal notes to each person so I knew it would take a while.
Etiquette says you have a year to complete them so I thought I was fine with my timing. About 2 weeks after her passing, a month after my wedding, my mother received an anonymous note from someone in my family, we are pretty sure who sent it, but we could never prove it.
It basically told my mother what a horrible mother she was because they had not received a thank you card yet, my mother was infuriated by this and set out to put this person in their place.
She preceded to write perfectly worded letter to this “anonymous“ person stating the situation noting how the month since the wedding had been so tremendously awful and she could not believe the gall of this person.
Basically saying that this person was a horrible human being and how dare they make this time harder than it already was. I wish I could attach a copy! My mother has a sharp tongue, and can make you feel so small with very little words, we used to say she could make you bleed while smiling throughout the process.
Here is the fun part…since the letter she received was anonymous, she couldn’t send it back the them, even though we knew who had sent it, so she printed over a hundred copies and sent this letter and a copy of the anonymous note to every single person who had received an invitation. Whether they attended the wedding or not, including my new husband’s family.
About 2 weeks after the letter went out, my mother started receiving phone calls. My family and my new husband’s family members called to apologize for the situation, and letting her know it wasn’t them who had written the original note.
Basically begging her not to be mad at them, apologizing for what she had received. 26 years later we still talk about it at family gatherings. My mother has a well deserved reputation for being a B, and she loves it.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Unicorn71_ said:
Your mum is an absolute legend and what a role model to have in your life. I share her philosophy of take no crap from anyone. I tell people to not mistake my kindness and overall pleasant demeanor towards people as weakness otherwise you're likely to be exposed to the raging b in me. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Jaded-Permission-324 said:
I wish I had your mom around when my husband and I were staying with his mom for a while.
QuietCelery7850 said:
Good for your mom! In my recollection, the one year period is for sending gifts to the newlyweds. It’s from an era before texting or even phones, so distant relatives would find out by mail. Thank you notes should ideally be sent ASAP, but up to 3 months is okay. Ideally. Not when your family is going through something like you did.
MysteriousArea5071 said:
Hehehe I love Your Mom she reminds me of a woman who helped raise me...who is now in heaven. Thank you for this. Would love more of mom stories!
Select_Draw3385 said:
Wow! I’m going to go against the grain and say that’s so rude to send out all those letters to people who were not a part of the one letter. I would be so offended if my new spouse’s mother sent out a letter like that. And you can bet that they are still saying how rude your mom was for doing so.
Mission_Breakfast548 said:
Your mom is a rockstar!