'AITA for telling my husband that he can divorce me if he doesn’t want me hooking up?' UPDATED
"AITA for telling my husband that he can divorce me if he doesn’t want me hooking up?"
My husband cheated on me. He begged me to stay and to go to counseling and that’s what we have been doing for 2 months now. I think I am still in shock honestly. He said he would do anything just we would stay together.
On our latest session I told him with the therapist present that I will never sleep with him again. That she could have him and that I will have sleep with another man. He will not know when or where or with whom.
If he doesn’t want to live like this, he can divorce me. He started crying and saying that I was unfair which is ironic because he started this. He says it is not the same.
Later OP came back with these edits:
Edit 1: I made a group chat between me, all his friends, all his colleagues (she is a colleague) and told her “HER NAME, I just want YOU to know that I am grateful for you for showing me my husband’s true colors. He is ALL yours now. Congratulations for winning such a prize”
Edit 2: I will not be sleeping with anyone else. I just told him so
Here's what people had to say to OP:
He deserves suffering. Go for it baby. Does she or any friend answer the text in the group chat?
Only_Mail7498 OP responded:
That they are so sorry. I mean what can they say? Just saying I am sorry he did this to you.
And the mistress? hidden in some hole?
Only_Mail7498 OP responded:
She didn’t answer, I mean, what can she say? But she hasn’t been to work since I outed them, neither has he. They just blocked each other.
So sorry, they deserve public humiliation at least. Hope you get all you want (money,house,hang him from the b^%$s...) best of luck and wishes.
Only_Mail7498 OP responded:
I want nothing to do with his b%$#s! She can hang them for him! I am getting 1/2 which is more than plenty.
Why do you care what anyone else thinks or knows? Is it that important to you that your husbands friends and coworkers KNOW that he cheated? Is your life going to be drastically impacted if heaven forbid they don’t know the truth?
Only_Mail7498 OP responded:
Why are you defending the privacy of a cheater? Are you him?
Grow up. It's funny you'd want those optics when he cheated on you.
ESH. Him because he cheated on you. You because you’re maliciously dragging this out and not divorcing him.
Later OP cambe back with this edit:
Edit 3: Ok. Off to bed. I am getting slaughtered here and I didn’t expect that. All I want is for him to feel my pain. He cheated on me and now I have to take the decision and leave him. I wanted him to feel the same. When he believes I cheated and he has to leave. That’s all. If that makes me an AH then I am the ah. I respect your verdict ❤️ good night
Then OP came back with these edits and updates:
Edit 4: Well, I just woke up. Haven’t slept in weeks! I needed it. My husband wants to talk. We have a session today that I actually didn’t want to go to (the last session I told them that this would be the last one because I have made up my mind but he begged me because he said he wanted to talk).
Not sure what to expect. Hopefully he is going to ask for divorce and we’ll be done with this. I need to go to bed again before the appointment. If anything important happens. I will let you know.
Edit 5: update I guess: We had a session today with the therapist and I told them again that I didn’t want to go to sessions anymore because they will never work for me. On our way home he asked me if I was with anyone and I didn’t answer him so he said that he can’t think of a time that I wasn’t home at an odd hour or anything.
I didn’t say anything. So he said he couldn’t live like this and he is going to spend the weekend at his family’s. Then he said that he trusted that I wouldn’t have anybody in our apartment and I said nothing.
He said he couldn’t do this anymore and I said that this is the way I will always feel if I took him back. Is he with another one? If I am to visit family, will he bring her to my home? Can I think back long and hard enough to remember if he has been out on an odd hour?
He said he would never do this to me ever and I said but you already did and this is how I always will be thinking if I took a cheater back.
He packed a bag and said that he loved me and left. Now I can cry in peace.
Edit 6: Sorry, I have over 120 dms. I can’t read them all. I hope you don’t think I am being rude.
Edit 7: hi! This is next morning from edit 5. I must say that I felt kind of relief waking up this morning to an empty apartment. The first thing I thought of was to just lay in bed and watch HoTD. I am sorry but the ending of season 2 is terrible! Are you guys blacks or greens?
He called me twice and texted me but I didn’t answer. Let him boil. I guess my message is clear to him now. That we are not a thing anymore. He canceled the rest of the sessions he booked for us because I got texts from the therapist office about cancellation. Now only divorce left.
To those who are asking me if I ever tell him if I infact cheated or not once we are divorced. I don’t know. I want him to never know ever but at the same time, what would he think if he knew that I never cheated?