'My Husband Cheated. Then He Got Cancer. I Left Him While He Was in Surgery.'
"My husband cheated. Then he got cancer. I left him while he was in surgery. Now he's begging for me back and I don't know what to do."
Some people might call me heartless, but let me tell you the whole story, and then you can decide. Two years ago, I caught my husband sneaking around on Snapchat with a former co-worker.
At the time, we were already in brutal, miserable marriage counseling because he acted like he hated me—like I was the root of all his problems. Meanwhile, he had no problem running off at a moment’s notice to help other women—especially his old high school flame, who was still hanging around in our social circle.
When I confronted him, he admitted to the affair. It broke me, but I stayed. We had three kids. I thought we could rebuild. So, we went to therapy. I fought for our marriage.
Then, last fall, life threw us another curveball. He got cancer. It was serious, but treatable. He needed chemo, which meant he needed a port surgically placed in his chest to make the treatments easier. I was right there at the hospital, waiting for his surgery to be over. I was still being the good wife.
Then his phone dinged. I picked it up, thinking it might be something important about his treatment. It wasn’t. It was her—his high school sweetheart. The one I had always been polite to. The one he swore was "just a friend." The one who was always conveniently around when I wasn’t.
My heart pounded as I scrolled up through their messages. At first, it was innocent—catching up, reminiscing about old times. But then I saw it. He had tried to hook up with her.
During the same time he was screwing his co-worker behind my back, he had also been trying to get her into bed. Two affairs. Two betrayals. And here I was, sitting in a hospital, waiting for this man to come out of surgery, so I could hold his hand and tell him we’d get through this together.
I was livid. But then? A strange thing happened. I didn’t cry. I didn’t break down. I just felt done. Done with the lies. Done with the betrayals. Done with him. I stood up. I walked out of that hospital. I drove home, packed up my things, packed up my kids’ things, and I left.
By the time he woke up from surgery, I was gone. No dramatic goodbye. No confrontation. Just silence. Now, he’s going through chemo. And despite everything, I still make him freezer meals and arrange for people to take him to his treatments. I make sure he has what he needs—but only at a distance.
And the irony? He begs me to come back. He says he’s changed. That cancer has opened his eyes. That he finally understands what’s truly important. That he’s sorry, that he loves me, that we can start over.
And now I’m left wondering… what if he’s telling the truth? What if he really has changed? What if the man who betrayed me, hurt me, and destroyed my trust is actually capable of being the man he always should have been?
I don’t know what to do. I want to believe him, but I also know that if cancer hadn’t forced him to face his mortality, he might still be sneaking around behind my back. Is a second chance worth the risk? Or is it just too little, too late?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
He doesn't care. He just wants someone to take care of his loser butt. Once he is back to being healthy he will cheat again.
I have a feeling that the moment he recovers, he’ll go back to cheating.
Nope. He only wants you to be there physically to take care of him bc his side pieces have said nope. I guarantee the minute he’s recovered and in remission? He will have another epiphany that life is too short and blah blah.
He will cheat again or outright leave you. Cut your losses now. Stop taking care of him. He doesn’t deserve it. Let his side pieces or his covering lying friends take care of him.
You already forgave him once. He only regrets you finding out, not actually doing it. His APs can take care of him now. Don’t go back, you’ll regret it. You deserve better.
Twice a cheater always a cheater. He wants a nurse not a wife. F him let his AP's take care of his sorry ass. I'd stop doing A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G to arrange for him. He made his bed let him stay in it.
He has shown you who he is time and again. He is afraid and doesn't want to be alone because his girlfriends are not giving the attention or care he wants. Once he is healthy, he will probably go back to his old ways.
To be a practical and truly heartless person, I would leave. If he does not get well, as his wife, you will be stuck with his medical debt. If he does get well, let him prove "how he's changed." He can earn the right to be back in your life. Odds are, he'll stick with the easy women who don't require actual effort.
Do not go back. This man has broken your heart and trust not once but TWICE! My guess is he is begging you to come back because neither of his side chicks want to take care of him since he is sick and he thinks he can just say everything he thinks you want to hear and you will come running back to him. DO NOT FALL FOR IT!
You deserve so much better than that and your kids deserve to see that their mother deserves to be treated better than that! You do not want them growing up thinking that's what a healthy relationship looks like. Look for a good lawyer, start divorce proceedings and go out and find the person who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!