'AITA for yelling at my husband because he keeps waking up our toddler?'
"AITA for yelling at my husband because he keeps waking up our toddler?"
So our toddler started sleeping alone about a month ago (15 months now). She goes to sleep around 7pm. I tried to be very quiet at least until she falls asleep so I don’t wake her. I do a lot of household chores when she goes to sleep, but I do them quietly. My husband on the other hand makes so much noise.
Of course, I also will accidentally make a noise once in a while. I am very apologetic and feel bad right when it happens. He on the other hand will make noise and doesn't even care much. I literally yell at him every day because he always wakes up our toddler. His office wall is connected to her bedroom, so any noise he makes while sitting at his desk (like eating or clicking his mouse loudly) will wake her up.
I get mad at him, but he treats me like I’m overreacting. I again called him today asking him to please try to be quiet after he slammed his plate down when getting food to heat up in the kitchen. He told me “you’ll just have to get over it it’s life.”
He also told me that he’s mad cause he can’t even make noise in his own house. I don’t feel like I am being unreasonable because as long as he’s quiet enough that he doesn’t wake her I don’t care. I am just tired of being the only one who cares.
He brings up the fact that I also make noise, but at least I intentionally try not to and feel bad if I’m accidentally loud. I just hate to hearing my daughter cry because she was woken up. It literally causes me anxiety, and I can’t do anything until she falls back asleep.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
underwater_owl said:
"Clicking his mouse loudly?" YTA. Life has to continue to happen even when the toddler is asleep. It doesn't sound like he is doing anything unreasonable. If he turned up music or ran the vacuum cleaner, you would have legitimate beef.
It sounds like he is making an effort. Put her in another room if his mouse clicking is too much. Toddler will get used to ambient noises and sleep through them soon enough. Calm down.
YoshiJoshi_ said:
YTA. If noises like “clicking loudly” are sufficient to wake her, then it isn’t your husband’s fault. Look into moving around living situations so her room is more isolated, or get a noise machine to try to drown them out.
Individual_Ad_9213 said:
I was with you until I read this: "clicking his mouse loudly." Really? How does anyone click their mouse loudly? You sound like Liz who killed her husband, Bernie, for chewing his food too loudly in the Cell Block Tango. YTA.
Buckupbuttercup1 said:
You have shot yourself in the foot by training her from the start to sleep with silence.From day 1 should have been lots of noise, he'll run a vacuum cleaner near her. Life goes on. Start getting her used to noise when sleeping, it may not be to late. YTA.
Swirlyflurry said:
I was with you until you admitted that the “noise” he is making is clicking his mouse and eating food in another room. Your daughter needs to learn to sleep through noises like that, and at this point it’s your anxiety that is making this into a whole thing. YTA.
She then updated that he is slamming plates and cutlery and banging his mouse on the desk. So it does sound like he could make some kind of effort to not make sharp, intrusive sounds that have been proven to wake up his daughter, which he then does nothing to help with getting her back to sleep. He’s an as^%$&e.
Is he actually doing that or is she exaggerating? Her story is not consistent.
Yeah if he was actually banging his mouse on the desk and slamming dishes about, why not mention that instead of the perfectly reasonable "eating or clicking his mouse"?
Sounds like she decided to update it and exaggerate when she started getting called out so people would be on her side.