'AITA for being angry that my husband didn't make me his life insurance beneficiary?'

"AITA for being angry that my husband of 8 years named his father as his life insurance beneficiary?"

My husband (32m) recently told me (26F) that he opened a 1 million dollar life insurance policy. Now, I have been asking him to do this since we got married. Not for such a high amount but I was happy when he told me he did. I found it odd that he didn't ask me to go with him when he opened it so we could of done it together.

When I asked him why he did it without me, he said he could make an appointment with "his guy" as he put it so I could open one up. I asked him basic questions and when he told me the beneficiary was his 63 year old father who loves in india, I was taken back. I felt a bit hurt that he didn't think to add me or his kids at all.

He then went on to say he need to make sure he takes care of them and he know I won't do anything to financially support them if something where to happen to him. As he and his younger brother have been financially supporting their parents as well as their sister (who does not work) her husband (who dose not work) and their 2 kids.

We opened a policy together when we 1st got married but he closed it without my knowledge 1 year into marriage because he said it was a bad omen. I have asked him every so often to open a new one but he refused saying he didn't need one. We ended up having two kids and I began pressuring him more and he just recently told me his friend had opened one so he did too.

He has a good job. As he runs his own business. I stay home with the kids (6 and 5) as that what he wants. He controls all finances. He has a separate account set up that I have all of our bills set to auto pay on. I, however can't access that account because I am not on it.

Whenever I need to buy groceries or anything like that he gives me his debit card but asks for it back as soon as I'm done using it. I never had a problem with it because as the end if the day everything is paid for and the kids have what they need.

When he told me he had named his father, who lives in India, as the beneficiary it hurt my feelings. He told me that I only care about money and I'm selfish. That I should think about the people who raised him 1st and that if I need anything if something where to happen that his younger brother (25m) would take care or me.

I don't want any other man to take care of me. I know that in my husband's culture they typically put their parents 1st and financially support them but I feel like me and our kids are always last. My question is, am I the a**hole for being a bit hurt that he would choose to do that without asking me 1st? He told me he will add me later but his father will always be 1st beneficiary.

This is what people had to say to OP:

Remarkable-Cry7123 said:

Use that card to withdraw cash every trip. Open an account in your name. Buy extra to return to get cash to add to account. He’s taken the years you would have built a career and will leave you broke with two kids. He’s told you this. Believe him and start protecting yourself now

kimmysharma said:

NTA this is nuts!!! He has no Financial plan for his stay at home wife and kids?! Yeah he is a moron.

Odd-End-1405 said:

Check with an attorney. In many locales it is not legal to name a beneficiary other than the spouse without spousal consent. He has failed you as a proper partner and parent to his children. He is NOT providing for you and in children in the event of his death. He is ensuring his parents and siblings will be taken care of.

If he doesn't trust you to take care of your children in the event of death or that you will remarry, at least 50% should be made to your children in trust. The betrayal of trust if WOW. I am so sorry your husband sucks. NTA.

Beneficial-Eye4578 said:

My dear girl this is not “ our culture “ I’m an Indian and I REPEAT this is not our culture. We have life insurance and it goes to me and our kids / him and our kids if I die. He can actually have 2 policies - one where his Father is beneficiary and another where you and kids are beneficiaries. This is NOT ok. This is financial mistreatment. Please put your kids in childcare and get a job. This is not a good situation for you.