'My husband said it was my fault son threw up at school. Am I overreacting?'

"My husband said it was my fault son threw up at school. Am I overreacting?"

So my husband (M40) and I (F35) have two kids D (M6) and T (M4). My husband and I divide labor equitably as best we can and cover when the other needs it. Today however I was completely shocked by husbands behavior. We switch mornings getting up with the kids and today was mine.

I fed them breakfast, packed lunches, got them dressed, and into the car for school (no issue there, he does alternate days). I realized on the way out I hadn’t packed the kids water bottles so I ran back, grabbed them from the drying rack, filled them and put them in their backpacks.

Later son D came home and said there had been old milk in his water bottle and it made him throw up at school. I never ever put milk in water bottles and I also rinse thoroughly their bottles before putting them on the drying rack so I expect fully clean ones to be there.

I said something to husband along the lines of “you can’t put milk in their water bottles” and he exploded. Said it was all my fault because I hadn’t checked the bottle, I was rushed and forgot them so it was on me, and though it had nothing to do with the conversation mentioned my boss didn’t like me because I didn’t admit mistakes (not at all true, my boss has only given positive feedback).

I mentioned how I would never put milk in a water bottle for the exact reason that happened (can make you sick) and he admitted doing it for our younger son. I reiterated I expected clean bottles in the drying rack and he continued to say it was my fault for not checking it before I packed it for school.

On other mornings I might have caught it but I didn’t ever think A. I would need to rinse out milk or B. It would not have been a thoroughly cleaned bottle in the drying rack that was safe to pack (I promise I did not put a chunky milk bottle in the clean drying rack). So now we’re not speaking over this which also seems ridiculous but I feel I’m owed an apology. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ConstantLuxury said:

NTA. OK, so he used it for milk no issue but the fact that he put it in the drying rack dirty coated with milk is the problem. Then doubles down and says it’s your fault for not checking no buddy it’s your fault for being a disgusting individual who doesn’t clean bottles properly.

hollyjazzy said:

NTA. I also expect things in a drying rack to be clean. That’s the function of a drying rack, to put washed dishes on it to dry. Your husband is being ridiculous.

grayblue_grrl said:

He is yelling at you because he messed up. But that's ridiculous over reaction. What else is he doing wrong? NTA.

DeliciousAd898 said:

NTA and he’s gross. Next time put his dirty laundry back in his closet and tell him the same thing.

shyfidelity said:

NTA. He’s defensive because that’s gross.

TheNightBeach said:

NTA, sounds like he was feeling guilty and projecting his feelings on you. Think you both need to chill and take a little time and then discuss it. Talk, no raising voices. If he starts tell him to stop, and if you need to walk away until he’s ready to be a big boy and talk like he’s someone you love. Say your peace, let him say his. Don’t let him talk to you like crap.

Fragrant-Duty-9015 said:

NTA who puts a dirty bottle on the drying rack. That’s gross. Any reasonable person would expect it to be clean.