Pregnant woman demands to eat autistic woman's food, but hubby won't have it.
A devoted husband posted on Reddit 'Am I the A-hole' forum after he may have ruined a friendly backyard BBQ. You decide whether he was wrong or right:
AITA for not letting my pregnant friend eat my wife’s food?
u/throwaway37483947 writes:
I (33M) have had the same friends since college. We became close our freshman year and have remained friends since then. It consists of me and my four buddies + our wives. It started out as me and my buddies but as we got older our families have expanded and so have the friend group.
Once a month we have barbecues and each one of us take turns hosting. My wife, Jane, is autistic and has trouble eating certain foods. She has sensory issues. To be safe I have given my friends a list of foods that are safe for her to eat and won’t cause any problems. It’s really easy food and none of them have a problem accommodating her.
The other day we were over at one of my friends house. His name is John (fake name). We all got our food and his wife, Caroline, went and grabbed the plate that was for my wife. My other friend Nick's, wife saw. Her name is Sarah and she is pregnant. She said she didn’t want the food that was made and wanted my wife’s food.
The problem was John and Caroline only made enough for Jane and not enough for anybody else. Sarah then demanded my wife give up her food because she has a baby to nourish and my wife doesn’t.
My wife has trouble communicating what she wants to other people so I told Sarah that my wife only eats certain foods and this is one of them. Sarah snapped back saying that the other food is making her nauseous and she has to eat something and my wife’s food is the only thing that looks appealing to her.
I told her that she or her husband can get in the kitchen and make something but my wife will not be giving up her food. She called me rude and inconsiderate and stormed out of the backyard. Nick went to chase after her shortly after. AITA (Am I the a-hole) for not letting a pregnant woman eat my wife’s food?
What do you think? Was OP being inconsiderate to his pregnant friend, or was she demanding way too much?
Reddit ruled a solid NTA (not the a-hole) on this one.
apathetic_acorn says:
NTA. Pregnancy is difficult but that doesn’t mean she can be that entitled. Your wife is autistic and you have given a list of food to your friends, which they don’t have trouble accomodating. This was an issue she and her husband needed to solve. If that means that the husband had to run to a grocery story, well so be it. Just because she is ‘nourishing’ a baby doesn’t mean it’s ok to make your wife starve.
UhLeXSauce comments:
NTA. Say it with me: The world does not owe you because you did the dirty and squirty raw.
Lilitu9Tails writes:
I mean, even if I’m being generous that maybe she didn’t know this specific food was going to cause issues, surely you’d be bringing snacks or something, because it doesn’t sound like the first time she’s had this happen. It’s her responsibility to plan for this.
Nagadavida shares:
NTA you stood up for your wife and was her knight in shining armor. I don't know why pregnant women and women pushing strollers feel so entitled but they do.
fallingfaster345 says:
NTA. Jane and Sarah both have special food needs. Jane due to autism and Sarah to pregnancy. Jane was prepared because you establish prior to the event what her dietary requirements were. Sarah was not. If Sarah feels that she is entitled to Jane’s meal for any reason, pregnancy included, she is flat out wrong. Maybe at the next event Sarah will inform the host of her food requirements/preferences.
newbeginingshey adds:
Yep. When I was pregnant with aversions, I ate before I arrived at people’s homes, had a snack in my bag, and was willing to leave early if I desperately needed more food. I didn’t steal an autistic person’s dinner.