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Husband tells wife that if she wants to be 'old fashioned' then he's 'in charge.' AITA?

Husband tells wife that if she wants to be 'old fashioned' then he's 'in charge.' AITA?


"AITA For Telling My Wife If She Wants To Be Old Fashioned Then I’m In Charge?"

So I (32M) was with my wife (32F) and our son (11M) at a Christmas party for his youth group. They were all making Christmas ornaments at their tables when a young lady came in late into the room. All the tables were full so there wasn’t anywhere for her to sit.

Well my wife noticed this and walked up to our son and told him to give up his seat for the girl. He told her he didn’t want to as he wasn’t done making his ornament yet. She told him to be a gentleman( loudly I might add) and that he should always give his seat if a girl is standing.

I thought this was ridiculous so I went over to them and told her to leave him alone and that he doesn’t have to give up his seat, and when someone is done they can get up so the girl can have her turn.

My wife got flustered as the kids and the table and other parents were starting to look at us so she walked out the room. She then gave me attitude during the party and on the car ride home said I shouldn’t have challenged her and I made myself look like a bad husband and father by telling our son to not give his seat.

I said that’s ridiculous to expect our son to just drop what he’s doing because he’s a boy and the kid standing was a girl. She said that’s what men are supposed to do and she is raising our son to be chivalrous.

When I told her that’s old fashioned she said that being old fashioned is correct and that’s why society sucks now. I was starting to get upset because she was raising her voice at me the whole time.

So I yelled at her and said if she wants to be old fashioned then she needs to stop questioning her husband and what I say is final. This got her really upset and she has been giving me the cold shoulder since.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

BeefStevenson said:

“We should be old-fashioned!!” “Ok. Obey your husband.” “Noooo not like that!” NTA.

nobletyphoon said:

Yeah NTA. This is weird virtue signaling on her part. First on all, your boy is a child and doing a craft. The girl can wait until someone finishes; she isn’t an elder or someone with a disability on the bus. This kind of stuff just teaches kids to invalidate their own needs and breeds toxic people pleasing.

Good job standing up for your kid; he deserves as much as the next child. Your wife chose to make a scene, not you. If she wants to raise a gentleman, teach him to be considerate and look out for others but not to sell himself out.

wlfwrtr said:

NTA Giving up your seat by being a gentleman is meant for times such as bus or park bench not when you are in the middle of an unfinished activity. She was willing to treat your son unfairly because of his gender.

dumbledwarves said:

NTA, and that's hilarious.

Cryfatso said:

My ex-wife refused to ever mow the lawn, or take the garbage cans to the street no matter how busy I was because that was the Man’s job. I also had most of the cooking, cleaning and laundry too. Good luck man, hope your wife is nothing like my ex.


Showed this post and the comments to my wife and now she’s crying. Definitely going to discuss this more with her.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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