'My husband went on a last date with his ex a week before we got married to make sure.' AITA?
"My husband went on a last date with his ex a week before we got married to make sure."
His ex was always “the one who got away” according to everyone around him. He ended things because he didn’t see a future with her but everyone around him was shocked because she’s so good and beautiful.
Then we met and I soon understood that everyone from his side preferred her. I even heard some call me the Camilla, although I am neither much older nor less attractive (in my opinion, I love how I look even if I don’t tick all of the beauty boxes like tall, blonde, blue eyes etc like his ex).
He never given me any reason to doubt him however. He gave me the impression that he knew exactly what he wanted. Was secure enough in his heart that he told me he loved me a few months into our relationship and I never felt like he was lying or that I wasn’t enough.
He is fully aware of what people think about him leaving his ex and he gave the impression that he thought they were silly and childish. He told his mom that I am who he chosen and if she wanted a part of it, she needed to clean up her act.
We got married 3 years ago and only now I found out that he went on a date with his ex, a few days before our wedding. He wanted to know for sure that she wasn’t like everyone around him thought, the one who got away. He wanted to make 100% sure.
His mom told me gleefully when she visited our new baby and she looked at my daughter and said she wondered what would have happened if he changed his mind after that date and she was visiting their baby now.
My husband and the one who got away’s. With a sigh but gleefully. You know what I mean. I haven’t spoken to him for a week and I hate silent treatment but I just can’t talk to him.
It isn’t something I am doing to punish him. Or manipulate him. Or get the upper hand and control him. I just can’t look at him or talk to him. AITA for this silent treatment?
Edit: He was there when it happened. He told his mom to shut up. Then he admitted he went on the date and admitted the reason his mom told me was the truth.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Stripedhoneybee90
Your husband is an AH but your mother in law loathes you. To think she held onto this information until you were happy with a new baby, totally vulnerable and then decided to drop this. That is calculated evil.
OP
It sounded more like a spur of the moment at first but maybe you’re right. Not sure anymore.
t2writes
No. She sat on that for years. It didn't just pop into her head. She was waiting for the perfect moment.
Educational_Bar6680
Wowwww- MIL had this locked and loaded for 3 years!!!!! She was happy to see grandbaby, but fucking ecstatic to see your face when she dropped that bomb. She is like the evil antagonist you love to hate on a TV show. …. But in real life. She got to go.
-deprimiert-
Imagine waiting 3 years on information just so you can tell a new mother that you wish the baby wasn't hers. Disgusting.
Actual-Offer-127
His mother is a grade A b-word. I wouldn't let her visit my baby anymore. She would be barred from my house too. If she's going to go that low I'll go lower. Update me.
Frequent-Team556
Wow, your mother in law its an a**hole, even if its involuntarily. You have been married for three years and still talks about the ex?! NTA for the silent treatment, i cant imagine how you are feeling right now. Like it doesnt matter how good you both are right now, the fact that he HAD to see his ex to make sure before marrying you!!! you are totally in your right to be upset.
mustang19671967
I’m so sorry this is actually disgusting on him his Mother and any friends who knew . I don’t think I could ever trust him again.
alienuniverse
His mother did this to you on purpose during one of your most raw and vulnerable moments. She knew what she was doing and it was instrumental. What your husband did was disgusting, how can you even know nothing happened between the two of them?
You know that if it did he wouldn’t tell you anyways because he never told you about the date. I think if you have a support system of your own it’s time to see if maybe you could stay with them for a little bit to clear your head. These people are snakes and your husband is one of them.
giag27
Did he also sleep with her just to make sure. Did he try having a kid with her too just to make sure? Wtf?!?! What kind of stupidity am I reading lately here. Your husband is the AH, and your mother-in-law is a close second. I can’t believe he did that and he actually told people…..
jamiekynnminer
NTA. Why can't people just be honest? If he had told you he had lunch with his ex before you got married, would you still marry him? if he explained himself would you feel like a sloppy second or that he had doubts about his love for you?
I know what I'd do personally but everyone is different. Does the family and friends talk about their disappointment in his marriage to you all the time when you're not around? No one wants to look the fool. I certainly don't.