Husband asks if he's wrong for planning to go to a concert after wife gives birth.
Some people think having kids won't change them, or their social life, but babies have a way of changing things.
Reddit user u/concertAITA bought concert tickets for a few weeks after his wife is due to give birth. His wife thinks he should be prioritizing her and their newborn.
Now, this husband is asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for wanting to go to a concert a few weeks after our baby is due?'
He writes:
Keep getting into an argument with my wife that keeps getting worse. We are due to have our first child (our first together, she has 3 older children that live with us) later this month.
I bought tickets for a concert that is approximately 3 weeks after her delivery date (if we make it that far) and she keeps accusing me of not caring about our baby for wanting to go to it. She's saying she can't believe that I care more about a concert than our daughter, and how could I want to leave her?
'I told her that one night out shouldn't be that big of a deal.'
I'm already using 6 weeks of paid time off that I've accumulated at my job, so I can be around full-time when the baby is born. One night away for a few hours should not be that big of a deal.
To be fair, there are also a few football games my family has season tickets to that I said I'd like to still go to. I won't go to all of them, but I think getting away for a while would probably be good to refocus from the stress of a new baby.
In that same vein, I've been telling her that I can take care of the baby so she can get out from time to time for an hour or an afternoon. Before this became a problem, I also bought her tickets for a concert that is about 2 weeks after the one I'm going to (so about 5 weeks after delivery.) I bought her sit-down seats to attend because it's one of her favorite artists.
I told her I'd take care of the baby for the night and she could go with her mom and enjoy the concert. She is saying she won't be going because she couldn't leave the baby and doesn't understand how I'm just ok leaving the baby for an evening.
Am I being an asshole and unreasonable for wanting some planned time away to recoup after the baby is born?
Reddit users overwhelmingly declared this father-to-be 'The A**hole.' As usual, they did not hold back on their opinions of this husband's behavior. I have a feeling life with a newborn is going to be a real wake-up call for this dude.
My Ex went on a 5-day fishing trip 9 days after I gave birth. He left the day after I hemorrhaged when I stood up in the kitchen. This may be a stretch but try and think about someone besides yourself. Please note the 'EX'! Oh and yes, YTA
YTA OP, newborns need to be well protected from unnecessary germs. And FFS you state right in the post that she has 3 kids and you have none! SHE knows BETTER THAN YOU OP, and if you can't get it together I'm pretty sure she'll yeet you out the door quicker and with more force than the prior donors.
You're using paternity leave for a concert and 'a few' season ticket football games? Oh. Um. 😕
And you think she doesn't know herself well enough, after 3 other babies, to believe her when she says she won't leave her 5 week old baby for a concert? Hmm. You're gonna get dragged to marriage counseling by the short and curlies. Good luck.
Hi! I’m 3 months postpartum & I’m STILL feeling the backlash of labor. My epidural sight is touched the wrong way & my left side is numb from sciatic pain. I also got stitches where I PEEEEEE.
Also do not get me started on the pains from breastfeeding. I’m constantly hungry all the time & sometimes that’ll trigger my endometriosis & MY LABOR WAS LESS THAN 11 hours!!!! It was my first child too. There are ppl who have had worse labors & births than me & yet we’re all still recovering.
It can take the uterus 2 full years to be fully healed & back to its original size!! I’m also doing this AS A SINGLE PARENT. What’d I’d do to have my child’s father by my side, but he simply stated he refuses to be a father and refuses to have children, so he majorly ghosted. I WISH I had a partner, but I’m thankful I at least have my family to support me. This dude is a major YTA tho.
OP’s thoughts…You shoved a person out of your body but who cares, let’s both go to concerts shortly thereafter! Never mind you’ll be bleeding, may have PPD, might have stitches, the lack of sleep, might end up with a c-section & more but who cares since I already know I need a night out! YTA. And selfish.
YTA. You have no idea what life will be like 3 weeks postpartum. My oldest was still in NICU, which was completely unexpected. I would have divorced my ex-husband sooner if he'd gone away during that time. You are making a lot of plans when you have no idea of what your life is going to look like after the baby is here.
And it's also like, dude she's clearly upset about this. Why would you prioritize something as dumb as a concert over a woman who just had a baby of his and said baby? Like why would you even want to go seeing how upset it's making her and the baby hasn't even come yet?
Do you care about her feelings at all? Not to mention you're leaving her with a newborn and three other kids, but no dude sat on his ass these past 30-odd weeks while she was growing a fucking human and he needs 'me time' because he took off 6 weeks of work to... be a dad?
YTA. 3 weeks? C’mon dude, stop being selfish and realise how absolutely physically, mentally and emotionally drained your wife is going to be. She will need you home.
YTA If you think you'll get enough sleep with a 3 week old to feel well enough to go to a concert you are either ignorant or planning on not doing your share of the work.
Also how does her going to a concert 5 weeks post birth make sense? She'll potentially still have post-partum bleeding, be actively breast feeding (most likely but idk your situation), and have a 5 week old that still probably won't be sleeping through the night so it'll have been months since she slept through the night. Especially since a lot of people don't sleep well when they are heavily pregnant. Also Covid still exists.
The way you are describing your parenting is more like Babysitting someone else’s kid. I feel sorry for your wife and child. YTA.