'AITA if I tell my husband’s best friend that his fiancée isn’t welcome in our home?' UPDATED

"WIBTA if I told my husband’s best friend that his fiancee isn’t welcome in our home?"

So this all started three years ago when I first was together with my husband Christopher (M24), who was my boyfriend at the time. We had a long distance relationship and barely ever got to see each other for the first year. I went to a college out of state and it was a 6 hour drive to see each other.

Not impossible, but was still a little stressful, especially since we were in college and are both extremely motivated and busy people. Because of the distance, when I would visit, I would normally stay for several days, some of which Christopher would work during.

While he was at work, I would often hang out with his roommate/best friend Eric (M26) and his fiancee Meg (M29). We got to know each other really well and eventually became really close friends, had a regular group chat and they would be included on facetime sessions. I became especially close with Meg.

After Christopher and I had been together a year, I was moving and Chris decided he wanted to come with me, otherwise we would be more than 20 hours away from each other. As sort of a “last time together” thing, the four of us decided to do a cross country road trip together to visit my boyfriend’s friend Oliver (BF2) and his girlfriend Ava (GF2).

Unfortunately, neither Oliver and Ava really liked me, and the trip started to go sour. What hurt was that during the trip, when Oliver and Ava were being rude (they would ignore me if I would say anything, refuse to acknowledge me if I said or did anything or would tell me that I was wrong every time I spoke.), Meg would pile on.

Meg and Ava would whisper loudly and say mean things about my clothes, my hair, my makeup or my weight. Chris would defend me but after a while it was so damaging to my self esteem. I was hurt that Oliver and Ava didn’t like me, but I felt betrayed by Meg since she was my friend.

I left the trip in tears after Meg screamed at me in front of the group that I was trying to steal Eric away from her and that I didn’t care about Chris. Chris was extremely hurt and told me he would cut all of them off after their behavior. I told him I didn’t want that because I knew what good friends they had been, and that if they apologized I would be okay.

Oliver and Ava did. Their excuse was that they were extremely protective of Chris and thought I was bad for him. I’m an extremely shy person and it was just a bad first impression since they are all very loud and extraverted people. We get along much better now. Meg never apologized and refused to return my texts when I tried to connect.

Fast forward three years, and now Meg and Eric are coming for a visit. My husband invited Eric, but not Meg. She invited herself. I’m still pretty hurt at how our friendship turned out and feel a lot of anxiety about her coming. WIBTA if I told Eric that Meg wasn’t welcome?

TLDR; My husband invited a friend of ours over to our house and he is bringing his fiancée who has treated me horribly in the past.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

dph99 said:

NTA. Did Eric ever apologize? I'm sure that you and Chris discussed the invitation to Eric before it was offered but I'm surprised that either Eric or Meg is welcome in your home. Obviously we're only hearing your side of the story but I think you're being very generous -- I'd have written all 4 of Chris' friends off after the ill-fated trip.

hmazz656 said:

NTA. Did anyone ever address why she claimed you were trying to steal eric?? Your husband should be mad that she would accuse you of trying to steal his friend away from her. How long had meg known ava? Something sounds fishy.

But TBH What the heck did Eric do? Why would she just bring that up? Something else is going on here, or it was discussed. Stand firm OP.

sweetquarantine said:

NTA, but I’m curious, where was Eric when his wife-to-be was making fun of his best friend’s gal? He was supposedly your friend too! Was your BF the only one to speak up for you during that trip? Maybe your BF had the right idea to cut them all out in the first place. They don’t sound like nice people.

And mtob99 said:

NTA but maybe it would go over better if you told your husband that you won’t let her in unless she apologizes for her behavior? Would you still accept an apology?

She later shared this update:

Hey everyone, just wanted to do a quick update. So things went BADLY. Chris talked with Eric and by the end Chris believed that Eric understood that Meg wasn’t welcome and why she wasn’t welcome. We were feeling fine about it and then, lo and behold, Meg shows up with Chris. I didn’t take it well but Eric INSISTED that Meg wanted to come along to apologize.

We stood in the parking lot for about 10 minutes as she “tried” to apologize but seemingly just “couldn’t find the words.” She went to her car and pouted because she “just couldn’t do it” and I went inside. Chris told Eric that he was welcome inside but Meg wasn’t. Eric and Meg left.

Fast forward and Eric and Chris didnt talk for weeks. Then last night Chris got a call and Eric and Meg are splitting. Don’t know the details and I don’t think Meg even knows yet but wow. drama, drama, drama.