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'AITA for telling my husband that his mother didn't help me with the housework?'

'AITA for telling my husband that his mother didn't help me with the housework?'


"AITA for telling my husband that his mother didn't help me with the housework?"

So yesterday was Mother’s Day here in Sweden, and it was my first ever mother’s Mother’s Day. My daughter just turned one week this Saturday and unfortunately my husband worked this Sunday, so his mother texted me telling me she would love to come over and help me to get the house in order and cook some food. I told her that she didn’t have to but she insisted and I told her that I was so grateful.

So she came around 7 in the morning and immediately talked about how messy it was, and that we would have to do something about it. I said that I know and I was again so thankful that she came. She said that it was the least she could do and asked to hold the baby. I handed her over and thought she just wanted to be with her before she got going.

But immediately she told me that she got it and I could go on and do what I needed in the house. I was confused and I guess she saw that because she said “To clean, that’s why I am here right?” I did not want to say anything and just started with it.

At about 12 she asked if I was done soon because she was hungry, I said that I could take the baby so that she could make herself something, to which she said that she would just wait until I thought it was an appropriate time to eat.

I was done at about 15 (3 in the afternoon) and she said that I shouldn’t hesitate if I need help again and that she was glad she could help me with everything.

My husband got home at about 17 (5 PM), and he something like “I’m glad she was such a help to you, I hope you got some rest this day” I told him that I didn’t and that I cleaned everything while his mother spent time on our sofa watching the baby. He told me that I couldn’t be serious but I assured him I was. He went out in the kitchen and called his mom. I don’t know what was said but she texted me later.

She basically told me that this was the last time that she ever helped me and that I was ungrateful and sick if I thought she would clean someone else’s house. She told me that she cleaned everyday while my husband was a newborn and you didn’t hear her complain.

I feel like an a## and wonder if i should’ve just lied to my husband and if i am ungrateful…

Here's what people had to say to OP:

NTA of course. But practice standing up for yourself OP. It’s not rude at all.

NTA, she didn't help at all so her saying she'll never help again isn't what she thinks it is.

I would just go low contact with her. You did nothing wrong and are NTA. Your MIL sounds like a piece of work, but now you know just distance yourself. Leave it up to your husband to keep in touch with his mother.

Have you replied to her yet? If not, text her that you’re not sure what’s going on. You’re confused why DH thought you were relaxing all day. All you did was tell him that MIL watched the baby so you could clean. You’re lost why she’s so angry with you.

Leave it at that, putting responsibility for whatever she said or claimed to DH back on her.

NTA. What were you supposed to do? Lie to your husband? If MIL felt what she did was right, she wouldn’t have gotten upset about you telling your husband. Now you know she’s manipulative. Be polite but keep her at arm’s length.

Sources: Reddit
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