'AITA for asking my parents who'll make sure I have an amazing Christmas?'
"AITA for asking my parents who'll make sure I have an amazing Christmas if all my money goes to my siblings?"
My parents have me (17m), my brother Arlo (12m), and my sister Asha (7f). My parents always told me I ruined their college experience and that I was the reason they needed to drop out and become serious adults. Arlo was not even born yet when they first shared that with me. My mom was heavily pregnant the first time I remember feeling their resentment.
I always received less love, attention, and money because of that. Arlo and Asha were in activities from a very young age. I never did anything outside of school except for working. My jobs included babysitting from age 12 and then a part-time job at 16 at a local store.
I never got to learn an instrument, play a sport, or join any clubs like my siblings. Every Christmas and birthday I got some clothes as gifts while my siblings received toys and video games. When I started high school even the clothes stopped and I did not get anything. They never made excuses when I asked. They probably expected me to know it was because they resented me.
I am not close to either of my siblings. They are not close to me or to each other. I admit that I resent them. I know it is not their fault, but I have a countdown to leave home at 18 and go no contact, and that will include my siblings.
This year my dad lost his job, got a new one making less, and then my mom lost her job and became disabled. My parents sold some things, including consoles and their own belongings, to pay bills and buy groceries. My siblings did not get much for their birthdays this year and as of December 12 my parents do not have gifts for them for Christmas either.
My parents told me they would not be able to afford anything and that they know I have money saved. They said I should make sure my siblings have an amazing Christmas this year and that they deserve it after everything that has happened.
I asked my parents who would make sure I had an amazing Christmas if I spent all my money on my siblings. I asked them when I ever had an amazing Christmas. They told me it was not about me and that I knew the reason I was not treated the same, and that it should not be a reason for my siblings to lose out this year.
I told them they needed to find someone who wanted to help because I do not. I said I am not spending anything on my siblings. I said my money is mine and it will get me out of everyone’s way in a few months, and then they can forget about the kid who ruined their lives. They told me I cannot be mad at them if I do the same thing to my siblings that they did to me. Am I the bad person?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
eeyorethechaotic says:
NTA it's their responsibility. Not yours. They also have a responsibility to you. You have no responsibility for your siblings. Your parents do. Work on getting out of there. In case it's not perfectly clear, they also decided to be irresponsible young, which led to your existence. You didn't ruin their lives. They made their own choices. And then tried to ruin your life. The good news is, you'll be an adult soon. I'd suggest not contact ASAP.
OP responded:
No contact will come as soon as I move out. Then I'll never have to live like this again.
InstructionEarly1969 says:
NTA. Do not give them a cent, because the moment you do, they will keep coming back for more. There will always be something they want you to pay for, and they will keep trying to use your siblings against you.
Although I hope you already know this, I am going to say it anyway. You did nothing to deserve being treated this way. You did not ask to be born. They created you. My mom had me when she was your age and never once made me feel like this. You deserve so much better than this, and I am so sorry this is what you have for parents.
OP responded:
Thank you. There are days I know it and other days I wonder if there was something so wrong with me. But I have a friend who's parents are even younger than my parents and they love her so much and never made her feel like she ruined their lives.