'I bailed out the man my husband fought because he was cheating on me with that guy's wife. AITA?'
I bailed out the man my husband got into a fight with instead of my husband.
Different_Hour_3008 writes:
Last week, two police officers knocked on my door to inform me that my husband A was in jail for getting into a fight with another man B over a young woman C.
My husband and C were having an affair. It seems that B caught them, and my husband decided to fight him. I didn’t want to see my husband at that time. We had always been a happily married couple. Furthermore, he was never a fighter. I don’t know who this man is.
I did visit B to find out what happened. He told me that C was acting suspiciously, and he found out she was cheating. He knew my husband was married because of their texts. He caught them in the act and threatened to tell me. It was a bluff because he didn’t actually know.
My husband decided to physically fight B to get the phone. The neighbors ended up calling the police, and both of them were arrested. B seemed like a sweet earnest young man. I can’t believe my husband hurt the poor thing.
He didn’t have any criminal history. He had a lower bond than my husband. He didn’t have the money or any family to help him. I decided to bail him out instead. Eventually, my MIL bailed out my husband. They’ve all been upset that I bailed out the other man instead of my husband.
My husband has pleaded for my forgiveness. He says it’s not a physical affair, but an emotional one. I’m trying to figure out if it’s something that can be forgiven.
Apparently, B was very manipulative and can put on an innocent face. My husband says he doesn’t blame me for being manipulated but says I shouldn’t have done it. I feel that is condescending. Was I the AH for bailing out B?
OP responded to some comments:
Pretty_Little_Mind says:
So the “real” issue here is not that your husband cheated on you, but that poor little you fell for B’s sad puppy face and bailed him out? “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!” Your husband could teach a class on deflection and manipulation. NTA (Not the A^#&ole). And lady, you best run.
OP responded:
Even if B was manipulative what does it matter to me?
Far-Aspect-1760 says:
What exactly were they caught in the act of if the affair was emotional?
OP responded:
According to my husband, they weren’t doing anything sexual, just embracing. B never mentioned what they were caught in the act of.
Minute_Box3852 says:
NTA but you need to have another talk with B and find out what he really walked in on.
OP responded:
I should. I need to know if they were just embracing or he saw something more. I don’t think a rational person would panic at just being caught in an embrace.
What do you think? Should OP have bailed out her husband?