'AITA for banning my parents from family events because they're awful to my brother's wife?

Was it wrong to ban my parents from my party?

Icy-Lingonberry-8128 writes:

So my (30F) little brother is 23. I have another brother that’s 20 but this is about the 23-year-old who I will call Blake. A few months ago, Blake eloped with his girlfriend Shay (19F). Our parents and my three sisters (Mary 22F, Bea 27F, and Sarah (25F)) were LIVID.

They were unusually angry. I was a little confused but I spoke to him, and to me, it seemed like he and his girlfriend loved each other very much and just made the rash decision to elope in Vegas.

We live about 3 hours from Vegas, so it’s a popular day trip destination, and they were there for the day and eloped. Like yeah, it was a little silly, but I don’t understand why they’re so angry about it. Blake and Shay didn’t even tell anyone about their marriage until 2 months later.

Blake and Shay are a very wholesome, and dare I say, perfect couple. They very obviously love each other, live together, and split the bills, both study very good degrees, and have two cats. I’ve always said you can’t put a timeline on life. If they want to do marriage earlier than usual, who cares?

My parents have made a point to not invite Shay to any family events since. They’ll call up Blake and say, "Don’t bring your girlfriend," refusing to acknowledge the marriage. Blake came the first two times they did this but left very early, and he’s always politely declined all invitations since then.

I’ve tried to tell my parents that they are pushing Blake away, and soon they can expect to never hear from him again, but they don’t seem to care. They take every opportunity to insult Shay, even though they used to love her before the elopement.

It’s my son’s birthday soon, and I’m planning a big party. I sent the guest list in a family GC, and my parents saw that Shay was invited. They demanded that she’s taken off, but I refused.

They were acting in a way that made me suspect they were going to make a scene there, so I banned them. I don’t want them to isolate my younger brother, and he hasn’t been to any family events since he got married besides the 2 he left early.

They are infuriated. They are threatening to show up anyway and think I have no right to ban them for someone 'who isn’t part of the family.' My sisters and youngest brother think I am overreacting and I could have instead warned them to behave and told them they would be removed if they couldn’t do so. They think the ban is nuclear. My parents are demanding an invite and an apology. AITA?

OP responded to some comments:

RoyallyOakie says:

NTA (Not the A^#&ole)...your parents didn't get the memo that children grow up. They deserve to be banned and they should stay banned until THEY apologize and learn how to behave. It's easy for your other siblings to say you've overreacted because it's not their situation. I'm sure your brother will appreciate the support.

OP says:

I currently am the only one with kids so my parents would be pretty upset if I banned them from seeing their only grandkids. My brother definitely appreciates my support in his own way. He’s usually very quiet and not that expressive (besides when he’s with Shay) and he randomly texted me the other day that he wishes he invited me to the elopement. It was very touching.

atealein says:

NTA, honestly, if I was your brother I'd make a certified copy of the marriage certificate, laminate it and send it to your parents. Refusing to acknowledge the marriage, who do they think they are?

OP says:

As far as I know, it’s only about the elopement. My parents and my brother haven’t mentioned anything else.

Bartlaus says:

Your parents had six kids in ten years... are they some kind of peculiarly religious people, or just very fond of babies?

OP responded:

My sisters and I are adopted

Ellesmith says:

If I were a parent in this situation I’d be concerned that a 23 yo was marrying a 19 yo. I’d be doubtful the marriage would last, esp because one is 19. That said, my concerns would lead me to act the opposite.

I’d be open and supportive to these young people. Keep communication open so I could be there for any struggles. And to make the young woman ostracized is horrible. OP you are acting like a good sister.

What do you think? Should OP have banned his parents?