'AITA because I 'banned' my stepmom from my house and being disrespectful to her?'
"AITA because I banned my step family from my house and being disrespectful to her?"
kitsune66613 writes:
Ok, so I (28F) am conflicted. This is a long one with some backstory. My dad, Patrick (66M), divorced my mom, Kathleen (61F), when I finished high school. They were in their fifties. Neither of them had been working for a long time.
He remarried last year to a woman, Shelly (54F, fake name). She has three kids: Jacob (32M), Amelia (29F), and Alex (29M, they’re twins). My brothers and I didn’t really interact with them.
At the beginning of last year, I inherited my grandfather’s estate and moved into an amazing house. My dad was the one who was supposed to inherit it, but my grandfather was a petty person and gave it to me instead.
I have been in the house since November 18 and have had very few visitors. Mostly it was contractors fixing up the home, building a large fence, and refurbishing the barn. I was feeling really good about the decorations and how nice everything was.
My brothers, Damian (36M) and his wife Nadine (32F), Lachlan (30M) with his partners David (29M) and Maryann (33F), and my younger brother Matthew (24M) came over to see the renovations and plan the holidays when my dad arrived with his new wife. I felt a little upset because I had not invited them.
My dad had sprung a lot on us before, like the wedding, and I hadn’t even had a chance to meet her before we showed up at the ceremony. My dad told me about a BBQ he was having so we could all get to know each other. We had a few drinks with some snacks before people started heading home. It all seemed normal.
I arrived at the BBQ on time, and Shelly huffed when I got there. I hugged my dad and went to the backyard. I stayed mostly with my siblings and their partners. We are all introverted, so social gatherings feel awkward.
Dinner was uncomfortable. I was seated in the corner next to the kids. We were making small talk when suddenly Shelly asked why I was taking antidepressants and a few other medications.
She also said that if I was that unhappy, I shouldn’t be living in such a big house all by myself. The table went dead silent. I asked her why she was in my bathroom. I didn’t even know when she would have had the chance to go into my bedroom or bathroom.
Shelly said that family doesn’t keep secrets and it was her job as my “new mom” to make sure I was okay. I looked at my siblings, and they were all shocked. I told her she wasn’t my mom and that going into my bathroom was a gross invasion of my privacy.
Shelly said I was overreacting and that I was just like my “crazy a%^ mother.” I got up, told her she was not welcome in my house in the future, and said I would not attend any family functions she was part of until she apologized to me.
My siblings walked out with me. They couldn’t believe she would be so audacious and act that way. My dad later called and told me I was being sensitive and that Shelly probably just needed to use something from my bathroom. I told him he was wearing blinders and that this was a red flag. He told me not to talk to him until I calmed down and acted like an adult.
I don’t think I was being unreasonable, but now I’m overthinking and wondering if I might be the a&#%ole. I need some unbiased opinions because my siblings and I may still be biased after my dad blindsided us with the wedding. I also need advice moving forward. I love my dad, and I want to at least be cordial with his new wife.
Here are some comments from the post.
Remarkable_Buyer4625 says:
NTA. Welp, someone is clearly unhappy that you inherited that house. Stand your ground on this one.
Glad-Currency5225 says:
NTA. She invaded your privacy aired your business out and than proceeded to be rude and disrespectful. Your dad's in the same boat if anyone did that to my child wife or not they'd be getting an earful not my child. You're right to ban her from YOUR house.
Ill-Bass-5584 says:
NTA. Gold digger Shelly is jealous she didn’t get the big fancy house she expected.
Pixii-Bear says:
NTA. Stepmom is overstepping.