"I believe I need to leave my husband as he squandered all of our financial stability for the sake of his son..."
I’ve been with my husband for 11 years. He‘s been the owner of a successful manufacturing company in the US for many years (even before our marriage). He wanted to retire and succeed the company to his son. I discouraged this as his son refused to participate in any formal succession plan.
At the one succession engagement, he verbally accosted his father. My husband went ahead with partial retirement anyway. His son (as I knew he would) tanked the 47 year establishment within 2 years. All this time I was begging my husband to see the reality. I often felt like he was stepping out on my marriage.
I understand his son was akin to an abusive spouse so I wholeheartedly supported him. Son did nothing but take from the company. payed his mortgage, spent thousands and thousands in personal expenses. Eventually the co had no money to pay for materials to produce product.
Yet, son bought himself a $120k truck at the company’s expense during the worst month in 47 years. During son‘s tenure he refused to allow my husband to pay his ex her due alimony (company asset share) to the tune of $20k per month. I personally paid 200k to keep my husband out of jail.
Fast forward, the company has been liquidated. The building will be auctioned in October. We no longer have income. We lost our cars, health insurance, life insurance and our home is on the market. It’s all due too his allegiance to son.
I do everything to support him (spend nights coming up with retorts to legalities) because I understand he‘s overwhelmed. He doesn’t even participate in my efforts. I am so, so very tired. I love him, but I’ve been trying to assist him for years. I‘ve been doing this all alone and I believe it’s time for me to walk away and take care of myself.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
LadderProof6804 said:
It sounds like you’ve done everything you possibly could to support both your husband and his company, even at great personal cost. At some point, protecting your own wellbeing has to come first. Walking away doesn’t mean you don’t love him, it just means you can’t keep sacrificing yourself for decisions you didn’t make.
Neither_Teaching_438 said:
I think you should have walked out before spending 200k on them...NTA.
yellsy said:
You can’t change him, but you could have saved yourself at any point in those two years. You enabled him and it costyou everything. Why would you throw your personal money into an obvious sinkhole?
Why did you wait until you had nothing to even contemplate that this toxic situation isn’t for you. He never chose you because you never chose yourself. YTA to yourself.
Alarming_Paper_8357 said:
Sounds like you are finally ready to face the reality of marriage to this man. Personally, I would have walked away and let him go to jail — why support a man who cheats on you and willfully and blindly allows an ungrateful and stupid son to run his business into the ground when he might have sold it and used the proceeds for his retirement?
WhyAmIStillHere86 said:
NTA. Document everything and insist that you be compensated in the divorce.
XRPtoUSD100000 said:
NTA. You should leave him. He hasn’t prioritized you for years.